Friday, April 9, 2010

Yesterday began with a happy baby sporting a wicked case of bed head rivaled only by her mama's. I skipped the shower and bed making routine and pranced down the stairs where Poppy and I danced to The Beatles. A good start I must say!

I put Poppy in her highchair with some apple and Cheerios to hold her over while I crafted some of Gramma's apple fritters (basically a thick crepe batter with apple chunks, cinnamon and sugar). But because she has lost her sweet disposition to teething over the last couple weeks, she began to dramatically shriek while I let the wet dogs back inside. The dogs proceeded to tip the water dish over sending water rushing down the hall and through the jungle of books that Poppy had removed from the bookshelf the night before.

And there it went. I can safely say I went bananas as a confused Soma tiptoed across the kitchen floor with his spongy, muddy feet. I nearly cried while the dogs pondered their next move to make me mental. I suddenly noticed the sink full of dishes and the tufts of dog hair under the table and thought of the unmade bed left upstairs. How silly of me to try for a zen-like morning ritual! Who am I kidding?

But a promise is a promise and, quite frankly, I am tired of breaking the promises I make to myself. I took a deep breath and gathered the ingredients and before long I was lost in the quiet moment of chopping an apple. My breathing returned to normal and I began again. I sat down with a stack of fritters and an eager Poppy. I read a meal blessing aloud while Poppy impatiently yelled over each word, but I concentrated on the words and meant what I said.

The water, the hair, and the dishes were eventually tended to while I contemplated the logistics of Poppy getting apple fritter stuck to the back cuff of the new bloomers I made for her. The dogs even redeemed themselves by eating the crumbs stuck to Poppy's pants and tolerated her playing in their dishes as they tried to eat and drink.

Despite the crazy teething baby and less than perfect start, it turned out to be a pretty successful day in which I got excited about a more frugal and green lifestyle, read to Poppy, found a perfect meal blessing, took some pictures, made tortilla chips from the leftover wraps, a spicy black bean dip, a fresh salsa with dill, and some yummy graham crackers from scratch.

Days like these make me realize that though I want to be a better mama who can go with the ebb and flow of any day, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to change everything that I am. That may be more work than it's worth when acceptance is probably a healthier solution. I can hold onto that daily shower and blow my hair dry because it makes me feel better. I can make the bed and do the dishes because it makes me feel calmer when it is done. I feel more inclined to make creative messes when the other messes are in control. That is my reality and where I am at in this moment. Growth is tricky and deciding what you are willing to part with and what you aren't is key. Pick your battles wisely.

Today I hope to plan some meals for the week, bake bread, and be present.

go gently & be wonderful



  1. I so know what you are talking about! Kinds and anmimals always seem to be most needy when you are trying to accomplish something.
    Good for you for sticking it through!
    I noticed what a great pincher grasp Poppy has in your pic above. She'll be writing her name before long, then before you know it she be in school and you'll miss the mornings you had with her dancing to the Beatles! Enjoy them everyday and spend quality time with them whatever you may be doing. Play a game of hide and seek while making the beds etc. Life's chores don't always have to be a hassle. Always look for an opportunity to involve your kids.

  2. I wish I could adequately tell you how much I love this entry! I love your voice so much. I could totally see you writing books. You almost remind me of Elizabeth Gilbert in the way that you're so beautiful and so damn obscenity-wielding bedhead-having real.

    My yoga teacher was saying that acceptance is the key to everything, acceptance of exactly where we are. I think maybe I'm starting to get it too. I hope.

    P.S. Poppy is just so freaking cute!!!

  3. you are back. I am so glad. I kept checking hoping you would. Lovely new spot.

    We recently put our dog to sleep. It was very sad but needed. She was very old. Boy, do i miss her. Especially her "cleaning" the kitchen floors.

    your breakfast is one my kids would just love.

  4. So glad to see you in the realization that we have to be gentle with ourselves and "pick our battles" for growth. It makes me happy when people take care of & are gentle with themselves.

  5. you are so fun!!! i am so excited to find you all out with your fun self again. yay! i have been wanting to make graham crackers.

    and i like it when i am able to pull myself back to sanity after an insane attack. it often feels like a miracle when i can do it. but the way you described your process was a very good reminder for me about why i want to keep trying. keep trying to find that sanity. and i also want to figure out how to actually enjoy the insanity a bit more..... i know i can ! i know it. i know it. i KNOW i can.

  6. HUGE fan of cleaning up the mess before making a mess...especially now with 3 little loves padding about! Also agree that keeping yourself a priority is where it's at. I might not get to the hair drying part, but the 8 minutes it will take me to shower will make my whole outlook on the day a million times better than if I had not!
    : ) a.

  7. Sweetie... Zen is a state of mind... it has nothing to do with what's going on around you. >>>That may be more work than it's worth when acceptance is probably a healthier solution.<<< Acceptance for what is, is the start of seeing the beauty in what is. And being able to see the beauty in what is, beautiful flaws and all, is the start of changing/becoming all that you are.

    namaste. :)


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