Tuesday, June 22, 2010

a new decade

my thirties begin with a rainy day and a congested teething baby
she sleeps late because the day is gray and had a fitful sleep riddled with coughing
i neglect to make the bed and wear navy and denim
i put Poppy in a coral coloured corduroy dress
and tie my hair back with a green elastic
make my way downstairs to make myself a breakfast of jam filled crepes
we're out of sugar
so I settle for freezer-burnt eggos and drown them in Janet and Dad's maple syrup
a waste of good syrup
a mistake I won't make again
the kind birthday greetings are flooding in and i am touched in particular by a lovely email from my step-mom

I contemplate this decade and what it may hold
turning twenty is nothing
turning thirty is bigger, but by no means badder
it seems to hold some sort of potential and freedom within its landscape
a place where i can stop trying to like brown bread
stop feeling guilty for not making the bed
and take more from life
a place where i can embrace elegance and learn the power of femininity

i hear good things about the thirties
and i feel ready to leave behind the insecurities and mistakes of my twenties
carry only the good things forward
like smooth pebbles in my pockets and windowsills

like a fresh coat of paint or a happy new outfit
new beginnings are good
i hope to fill this decade with soft blues and linen
wisdom and tea
focus and family
skirts and making peace with this body

forgive myself for what i stumbled upon and failed at
be proud of what i have conquered and survived
stop fighting who i am and what i do
allow the freak flag to fly with abandon more often
think less
listen more
become softer and stronger
buy less
make more

but most of all
i will
go gently & be wonderful



  1. very wonderful...I'm glad to have read this as my 30th is approaching aswell. Happy Birthday to you!

  2. Happy 30th. You made a dreary gray ay sound so romantic and filled with a beautiful maturity. May your dreams and beyond come true over the next year. xo m.

  3. yay. birthdays are the best. no matter what number. i like thirties. i have some friends getting ready for 40!!

  4. A new decade is like a blank canvas...it will be wonderful for you I am sure!

  5. oh, you are not a freak... the freaks are the ones out there chasing down the facade of success, while you are nurturing true success. just be yourself.. stop concerning yourself with what others think of you (or your perceived perceptions of what they think of you).

  6. i just reread my comment.. lol. perceived perceptions. goodness sakes, that was seriously redundant!


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