feeling
used up
stretched out
tired
gigantic
unlovable
wishing
I could ignore the mess
Mike {my usually very sensitive husband} hadn't found those thin, pre-pregnancy pictures of me and announced it by saying, though rather playfully, that he had found pictures of "Ernsy with perky boobs"
I knew how to stop trying to be and have everything all at once
I could find the balance in blogging again
it wasn't calling for rain and thunderstorms, yet again, for the farmers market
I could find some pretty clothes that fit over this great, growing belly
smelling
chocolate chip cookies & sweet marie bars made for market tomorrow
the mysterious and rather unpleasant smell that creeps out from under the stairs that we have been unable to identify or get rid of in the 3 1/2 years we have been here
loving
that when I ran a bath for myself this afternoon and turned to get something from the drawer, Poppy, as sly as a fox, climbed into the tub and looked up at me, fully clothed, with a pleased grin on her dirty little face
the way Poppy walks around all business-like with a remote or anything resembling a phone talking a new form of gibberish that sounds very purposeful
trying
not to think too much about turning 30 next Tuesday
{pictures in this post circa Summer 2007... also know as the "pre-pregnancy-35-pounds-lighter-perky-boob-days}
go gently & be wonderful
e.
I am just new to your blog and love it. I remember being nearly 30 and pregnant with my first child. A dear friend gave me a 30th birthday card that said don't worry about turning 30 because in 10 more years you will be wishing you were turning 30. I can tell you it is true! Just about turning 40 and don't know where the years have disappeared. Enjoy your wonderful pregnancy and chalk it all up to the hormones. You look amazing.
ReplyDeleteMany blessing to you
Lorraine
Awe, sending happy thoughts to you mama!
ReplyDelete<3
When I was about to turn thirty, I also felt like I was somehow not going to be beautiful or happy or successful. A good friend of mine, who I always thought would really be devastated by aging (and he's a year older than me), told me that being thirty was the best year so far and it only got better. It's really true, you start to mature in ways you never thought possible (because in your twenties you think you're all grown up) and realize that you still are beautiful and laugh lines really do just mean you know how to smile. Your thirties for some reason allows you to come into your own. Jay-Z was right when he said 30 is the new 20.
ReplyDeleteSo happy to see you back in blog-land. I read your blog for a good year or so before finally beginning my own blog. And then you ended it. And I was just sitting here curious tonight, what happened to Apples for Poppy Anne?
ReplyDeleteSo glad to find you and your writing space again. I'm off to read and catch up a bit. I hope your pregnancy is going well. Coming off of pregnancy #3 myself, I must say, I fall into the pregnancy-makes-me-crazy camp. Wild hormones. I wish you the best as you traverse the mother to babe and child seas.
Have you ever looked into Post Partum depression - looks like you may be suffering from it. Been there, done that & took the meds to make me feel better. Nothing to be ashamed about. Talk to your doctor about it.
ReplyDeletemy head has been making me kind-of crazy too lately. maybe something in the astrological phase?? i'm trying not to take my thoughts very seriously. day makin me krayzee. i want to see a photo of your glorious pregnant self. my boobs are so not anything like they used to be. but i'm a mama and that is not what i used to be either. thank goodness. poppy is the best. you are clear enough to see that!! you are awesome. let's do some virtual yoga together.
ReplyDeleteWhat about these post baby gorgeous pictures? Don't forget those.
ReplyDeletehttp://applesforpoppyanne.typepad.com/apples-for-poppy-anne/2009/11/apples-for-poppy-anne-festive-giveaway.html
http://applesforpoppyanne.typepad.com/apples-for-poppy-anne/2009/11/twenty-nine.html
your beauty only really begins to emerge after turning 30! i swear it! i'm 35, my skin fits me fine, little lines and just the slightest of peach fuzz is starting to show on my face... and i look in the mirror and i see ME!
ReplyDeleteso glad you're blogging again and that i decided to check apples for poppie anne again (and before you deleted it... although, you should save your writing for yourself).