apples with honey

wee reminder

2011-12-12T13:17:00.001-05:00

Just a wee reminder to update your blog roll as I will not be updating here any longer and will be closing these doors shortly.

Find me at the feather + anchor

I know, I know.

Me and my constant moving about.

But I promise this is where I stay from now on.

To make it up to you I have announced a festive giveaway.

Come check out the new space!

go gently + be wonderful

We're Live!

2011-12-06T13:02:00.002-05:00

Hello loyal readers of Apples with Honey!

You can find my new space at:

www.erinellenbergermarch.com

Don't forget to update your blog rolls and whatnot.

go gently + be wonderful

feeling brand new

2011-12-01T10:53:00.000-05:00

I wanted to thank you all for the kind emails and comments with regards to the recent decision to focus on my most important role as mama, mama, and homemaker (how very 1950s of me, eh?). I must say, I am feeling inspired as Mike and I work on my new website each night after the kids are in bed.

I think I have scared some people by letting them think I won't be doing anything creative for myself if I give this up, but I know it will be quite the opposite. I now have more time to take the time to teach myself more knitting, crocheting, and sewing (all things I was unable to do efficiently enough to sell).

We are currently working on making a section with a collection of links to my favourite recipes and tutorials including squash soup, basic cracker recipe, and chocolate cherry cookies. I also plan to share recipes for my recent venture into homemade body care products pictured above. The goal is to continue with my regular writing, but sharing more of our favourite things. I hope to create a more sustainable writing/posting schedule and linking up with some carefully chosen blogging memes. Not because I have to, but because it keeps me creative, introspective and challenged. It is for me as much as it is for those who read my blog.

I look forward to acting from a place of generousity and gratitude and hope it brings me to where I am meant to be while allowing myself and others to live our ideal life today.

I will let you know when it goes live and how to win the giveaway I am planning!

go gently + be wonderful

e.

calling it

2011-11-28T14:15:00.000-05:00

After careful thought, lots of number crunching, and long discussions I have decided to call it quits with my wee home business. Though it may appear to have come out of nowhere I have been wrestling with this decision for months now.

As I said in a previous post, I create for two reasons; 1.) to make extra money and 2.) to make pretty things. Instead of making money, it has become an expense we can not afford. Supplies, shipping, craft show fees, gas, postage, and time. I am quite sure I have not made a profit yet. I do well at craft shows, but don't do enough to make it worth my while. It is an all or nothing venture and I can't commit it all. I am pulled in too many other directions.

As I stood in the aisle of the bulk food store gathering more supplies for the items I plan to sell at this weekend's craft show, and tallied up the cost in my head, I knew it was time. I had to call it. My energy and focus are scattered around the house in scribbled lists, recipes and directions. I feel resentful when the kids won't let me accomplish a single task to completion. I feel guilty doing anything unrelated to show preparations. To top it off it is costing rather than prospering.

To be honest, I am tired of putting myself out there, shifting gears, and changing direction so frequently in hopes of making money and pleasing others. Letting it go feels right. It is time to focus on being available for the kids; put my energy into frugal living, baking, sewing and knitting, tending chickens, and running a house efficiently. It is time to get healthy and put some energy into exercise and myself. I look forward to doing things for me and my family unfettered by guilt and anxiety. Making things despite the time and effort involved because it is a labour of love for myself and my family.

I will be doing the Twinkle Craft Show this Friday and Saturday in Peterborough and one day of the Peterborough International Film Festival in January, but after that I will be done. I may not close the doors forever and I may re-visit it when the children are older and we can do it as a learning adventure together, but until then...I create for me again.

I will still be switching websites as I enjoy capturing our days. My hope is to blog more often and to share details of our frugal, homesteading life with recipes, patterns, resources and {hopefully}a smidgen of inspiration. It is time to return to the root of it all; a young family trying to carve out a simple, handmade life in the country on one income. If I can't make money at it, I can at least share what I have learned with you.

Thank you to all of you who supported my shop whether it was financially or as a cheerleader; I couldn't be more grateful.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

basic laundry soap recipe

2011-11-25T14:33:00.003-05:00

::Note::

I found all of these ingredients locally at our wonderful health food store, but had trouble finding the soap flakes anywhere else. Not sure what could be used if you couldn't find them where you live.

I use about 1/2 cup, but sometimes more if it a particularly dirty {potato digging attire}or smelly {rumpled towels and dish clothes}.

You can also add essential oils directly to the powder or to your water, but I kind of like the scent of cold fresh water. It is rather refreshing.

I always use cold water to wash our clothes so I can't imagine what this what do with hot water.

go gently + be wonderful

jars of money

2011-11-25T14:02:00.001-05:00

Since my last post about living the frugal dream I have decided to organize our weekly and monthly budget as Gail Vaz-Oxlade recommends {for my American readers, I guess you could say Gail is the Canadian version of Suzy Orman}. I entered our numbers into her interactive worksheets she has available on her website to figure out what each of our five jars will hold. There is a jar for the main variable expenses such as food, entertainment, gas, clothing and gifts, and one for miscellaneous purchases. As you can see I mod podged some doilies and washi tape onto our jars since they're going to be sitting out for all to see. No reason they can't be pretty at least.

We have a total of $284.77 to "play" with each week. The goal is to use only cash all the time. Then you spend the money, you replace it with the receipt. Generally speaking, it is rather like a big game of "Life" and we are treating it as a fun challenge in which the we win financial freedom. Any leftover cash can be dumped into the next week and at the end of the month you can spend it if you were saving for something special or you can put it down on an outstanding loan or savings.

You'd think the strict rules and numbers would be stressful, but it has had the opposite effect on us mentally. You can let go of guilt or worry when spending when you know everything is where it should be and that if you play right you can still get what you want; you may just have to wait a little longer.

Oh, and uh, Happy Black Friday.

go gently + be wonderful

I declare a spending strike

2011-11-21T16:21:00.002-05:00

A beautiful film about Santa's humble beginnings; one of the most wonderful Christmas movies I've ever seen.

I love Christmas.
I mean I am a total Christmas dork.
I also love shopping.
So what I am about to declare may seem strange.

I would like to declare a spending strike. It could possibly be the worst and most difficult month to declare such a thing, but it is necessary on many levels. I think the challenge will awaken our creativity in gift giving and celebrations while padding our bank account.

That being said, most of our Christmas shopping in done so it may not be as difficult as it first sounds. We need to fill 4 stockings and purchase the annual gift for the grandparents. We also need to host 2 or 3 family gatherings. I think we can do it though.

This is the season of celebration and warmth and family. Not about overcrowded malls and spending past our comfort levels. This year we will put more emphasis on the Winter Solstice than we ever have, but we will also keep Santa Claus because we want our children to know that magic.

Guidelines:

We will pay our monthly bills of course. Mortgage, car payments, student loans, phone, Internet, hydro, propane, house/car/life insurance, RESPs, etc

We will allow ourselves $150.00 per week for groceries

We must allow $250.00 in gas money for the month

We must have some allowance to buy supplies for my upcoming craft shows, but I will keep it to a minimum and hope I won't need more than $50.00 to $70.00 for the month.

We will think creatively on how to fill stockings, but if a handmade something requires a supply or two to come to life then we will purchase it.

Now I will share with you what we currently do to live the frugal dream. Sometimes I wish other bloggers would share there secrets to frugal success so I have compiled a fairly detailed list of what we do to make one income work for us as well as our long term goals. If you care to share your own details or advice do so by leaving a comment or link. I hope I don't bore you to tears, but I write it for you as much as I write it for myself.

Homesteading:

Chickens: We are hoping our ladies will start laying in the next month or so so that we can have a steady flow of happy eggs to eat. A long term plan is to take advantage of our location on a main road and sell eggs and veggies roadside {hello learning experience for homeschooled kids!}. Our chicken coop is built to last with room to grow our flock. I am trying to work myself up to processing the chickens for eating as well.

Gardens: We managed to get a small garden in this year despite the bugs and lack of prepared land. I made 3 jars of pesto {enough to last about 3 weeks}. We didn't get anything else into our freezer or pantry. It was a wonderful thing to get 16 quarts of strawberries and three burlap sacks of the most beautiful corn I have ever seen into the freezer from Ellenberger Organic Farm. I also made copious amounts of apple butter with the apples from our trees though I was a little disheartened to open 5 jars in a row which had gone bad. I thought I did it right, but apparently I have much to learn.

Our goal is to grow enough food to freeze and preserve which will take us through the fall, winter and early spring. The growing season is quite short here so this will take a few years to perfect. As I mentioned before, we would like to sell our produce, eggs, and some of my homemade goods at the "farm gate" during the busy tourist season. We have grand plans of terracing the hill behind the chicken coop and turning our large yard into a mess of food. Next year we hope to invest in a steam juicer to make sugar free apple juice from the abundant apples on our property.

Meat: We get all of our grass fed beef and pork from Ellenberger Organic Farm and will be buying a full cow if we can get our hands on a full sized freezer. A large purchase, but so good for us and our bank account in the long run. We don't eat organic everything, but we try to focus on the animal products as a priority. We buy organic milk and get raw organic milk and cheese when we can {which in Canada is the equivalent of saying we buy drugs. It's idiotic really that people are able to make the choices about alcohol and tobacco, but not raw milk, but that is another post for another day}

Groceries: We travel a minimum of an hour to get decently priced groceries. We have tried to organize a buying club through the ONFC, but to get a monthly order has proved too much at this time. We try to follow a wheat free/minimal wheat diet so it is much more cost effective to make our own crackers, pizza crusts, cookies, etc. Wheat free is effective in keeping processed and pre-made garbage out of our grocery baskets. I could use some hints and tips on making more vegetarian meals as well as freezer friendly meals to make ahead for when those days when the last thing I want to do is cook days. Lucky for us, our eating out options are pretty slim in Gooderham; especially in the cold months. Mainly we buy perishables and baking supplies on a weekly basis, but we somehow seem to spend a small fortune on food each and every month. We're working on it though.

Body Care:

Hair Dye: I have decided to give up dyeing my hair. It was silly really; I would dye my hair and dark rich brown and would be frustrated, not with the root re-growth, but with the fading and dryness of the treated hair. So I broke up with the toxic hair dye and am dealing with the awkward growth period. I think in the long run I will be liberated as I like my natural colour and it is very free.

Haircuts: I cut everyones hair but my own. The gentlemen are easy as pie, but I think us girls will be paying for ours to avoid hair catastrophes.

Shampoo and Conditioner: I have tried to go shampoo free with baking soda and apple cider vinegar, but it just didn't go well for me. I have super thick curly hair and after a few days it felt like a matted tangled mess. I have tried many natural shampoos, but haven't found a single one that makes my hair feel and look nice. I find Poppy's hair reacts the same as mine. So we use commercial brands of baby shampoo and regular shampoo despite knowing their toxic ingredients.

Cloth pads: I was leery about this one, but I decided to take the plunge into cloth pads. I purchased from a Canadian company on Etsy called Naturally Hip. They are well made and surprisingly simple. It would appear our society is rather squeamish with this topic, but I am not so these work well for me and I get to skip the tree killing and bleached cotton. I have tried the Diva Cup, but wasn't crazy about it.

Deodorant: I will never use commercial deodorant again. I have never used anything that has worked so well as the stuff I have been making and I have used everything from secret to Toms to the salt crystal. I will soon be offering it in my shop for those interested in ordering!

Cloth Diapers: I will be honest; I hate cloth diapers. I have a stash that I keep returning to when the guilt is too much, but we struggle with it. Mike likes them even less. It's the poop that gets me. Any tips would be appreciated. I keep them handy and when I figure a poop is less likely to happen I put one on and pat myself on the back for each disposable I keep out of the landfill. Baby steps.

Laundry: I recently started making my own laundry soap and will never go back! With four simple and inexpensive ingredients {I will share the recipe soon} I have finally been able to get rid of stubborn smells in my towels, dishcloths, and cloth diapers that commercial and natural detergents alike have left behind. They come out smelling like cold water which is refreshing, but sometimes I will add a few drops of essential oils. In place of fabric softener we use regular vinegar.

One of the first things we did upon moving in was to install a new clothesline. Hanging clothes in the warm season is no issue, but the temptation of the dryer lurks as the days grow shorter and colder. Our dryer is broken and we are going to leave it that way because we know if it is there we will use it more than necessary. Instead I purchased another heavy wood drying rack from our local Home Hardware Store so I can hang two loads or laundry at a time.

Lifestyle:

Cable: We don't have it. We have some ghetto rabbit ears which {sometimes} gives us the local station which is horrible. Bell calls us in hopes of selling us sattelite, but there is nothing on their script for people who just don't want it so we usually spend five minutes of our time explaining we don't want it while they respond with "I understand your hesitation...". We watch CHEX and downloaded movies on an old 19 inch television which has been dropped in almost every move. When it goes we may treat ourselves to a 32 in flat screen if we can find a steal of a deal.

Car: We have one 2010 Nissan Versa. I think our next car will have to be a larger minivan sort of deal because once we get the kids and ourselves in we are hard-pressed to fit in the weekly groceries. The monthly payment is lower than the regular repairs we were putting into our 2002 Hyundai Accent. I often find myself daydreaming about a second car, but I don't think we could afford the upkeep and insurance let alone another car payment so we do our best not to go crazy at home all week.

Trips and Entertainment: Nonexistent. We don't travel, not even to see Mike's family in Newfoundland. We generally go to free festivals and celebrations locally. Not ideal, but reality.

Furniture: Every item in our house is second {or third or fourth I am sure} hand. We sleep on a horrible mattress that has the same strength and form as a wet soda cracker. I often prefer the heart and soul of old furniture, but it would be nice to buy a new mattress or high efficiency washer, but we deal and plan and save and cross those bridges as they come.

If you've made it this far I thank you. I know some of my dear friends are rolling their eyes or shuddering at our efforts, but we have come to accept we're the crazy hippy couple who, without meaning to, make people uncomfortable. I won't lie, sometimes the cabin fever gets to me and I think about getting a job with better pay so I can go on a trip or buy some nice clothes or new furniture.

If I am honest with myself I feel inadequate when I know we are being looked at with pity as if to say "Poor Erin and Mike, they couldn't afford a normal house and had to buy that odd little cabin in the woods." or "Those poor children are being deprived of toys and Treehouse TV, how will they ever learn?". Who knows, maybe people don't think those things about us. Perhaps I am being silly.

All that to say, we are forcing ourselves to think outside the box this season and hope to make meaningful rituals and avoid the holiday hangover everyone loves to hate. I hope to learn lots about ourselves, others, and how we have come to connect with others.

Join us if you'd like.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

It begins...

2011-11-14T18:47:00.001-05:00

Blogger is still eating my photos, but what's a blog without a photo?

It was a wonderful weekend. Friday night found us at the Settler's Village Festival of Trees. The highlight of the night was definitely when the roaming men's choir dressed in top hats performed a private concert for the kids. Poppy spent the rest of the evening following them from one cabin to the next. Finally she found the tiny church where their voices floated out onto the cool night air. She walked in without hesitation and found a pew as though she had done it a hundred times before. The church was dimly lit by lanterns and smelled of kerosene oil. I can't quite describe what happened next, but it was a magical moment of sorts. She gazed up at the choir in their top hats and her face became full of awe and purpose as she suddenly began "singing" with her whole heart. Her mouth opened wide and her little voice went up and down just as the choir's did. Now she enjoys the odd song and loves to dance, but will often become annoyed when I sing. It was like an ancient memory had enveloped her in that sweet little church filled with lamp light and song; as though she was remembering so many Christmases of past. When it was time to leave, instead of heading for the door, she walked to the front of the church and one the gentlemen gave her some bells to jingle. She turned to me and exclaimed "Santa's coming!" so they sang Santa Claus is Coming to Town while she rang the bells. She then said thank you and waved goodbye; we were off to see the rest of the village.

The rest of the weekend was spent at home moving wood, organizing, and cleaning until we ventured into our woods to collect some pine boughs. With sticky, pine scented hands we attached pine boughs to our front porch and then strung some white twinkle lights into the tangled branches. As I thought of how it might look with some soft snow falling I was filled with the electric warmth of the season. I thought about how sweet it is to go into our own backyard to collect everything we need to do our winter decorating. I thought about how we will celebrate this Winter Solstice as it has never been a tradition in either of our families. I thought about tobogganing down our gentle slopes with bellies full of warm oats and cinnamon.

Yes, our most favourite season has begun.

go gently + be wonderful

Blerg Blogger!

2011-11-08T16:06:00.000-05:00

Listening to the Amelie Soundtrack feeling weepy and nostalgic.

Caught in a hollow place of looking back and looking forward.

Limbo.

Not quite present.

Not quite absent.

Tired.

Determined.

Hopeful.

Blogger hasn't let me upload a photograph for weeks now.

That being said,

Mike and I (mostly Mike) have been working on my Christmas present.

My very own website;

A place to streamline and combine my online presences into one...

photos

shop

blog

archives from my most recent blogs "apples for poppy anne" + "apples with honey"

links to facebook + pinterest

Details to come.

I create for two reasons:

1.) I love the ever elusive challenge of creating something pretty

2.) To make money

Some days it doesn't feel like I accomplish either of those. The truth is that becoming homesteaders costs money. There is always something to buy; tree felling, fixing wood stoves, trailer hitches, feed, building supplies, tools, books in addition to all the requirements of daily life; organic food, organic meat, clothing, winter boots. Of course, it is short term pain for long term gain, but our one income household has taken a beating in the last 6 months.

There are days I wonder why I try to do so many things. There are days I wish I could just concentrate on being a great, present mama. There are days I just can't take another second of the one sided conversations and boredom. There are days I wish I could find the nerve to start a little family photography business to take the pressure off Mike who uses his vacation days to do side work. There are days when oatmeal and toys are enough. There are days when I need to feel productive. There are days I wish I could forget about making money and find ways to save it instead.

There are days I feel like my full time job is doing laundry and peeling clementines.

I am so glad to be home snuggling with my little squishy faces and watching them grow everyday, but my, oh my it is one intense gig. I put the question out to you lovely readers: How do you crafty mama bloggers manage your time? What do you sacrifice in order to make it work? Please share your time management secrets with this weary mama.

go gently + be wonderful

ketchup.

2011-11-03T11:14:00.001-04:00

I get lost when I let my writing lapse.

I miss having the record of our days.

I forget how to inspire myself.

Right now...

I have much to do, but can't seem to find the space or time.

We are following a wheat free diet and enjoy eating even more made from scratch food.

Two months after breaking ground, the chicken coop is finally complete and home to 6 happy, organic chickens from Ellenberger Organic Farm.

We lost a giant pine beside the house.

In her honour, we have begun laying cardboard and leaves for a new garden where her branches once cast shade.

Silas is sleeping through the night and weaned.

I have been wearing sweatpants far too often and washing my hair not often enough.

I moved my "studio" into the loft and the kid's playroom into the room off the kitchen.

I have yet to organize it, but when I do it will be great.

I made some super simple laundry detergent and love it. {will share recipe soon}

Trying to eradicate the annual flea frenzy with vacuuming, bathing pets and diatomaceous earth because I got scammed by True North Pets.com for $150 of non existent flea meds. 300 bites later{they only bite me}and still no resolution.

Glad to have nothing standing between me and the Christmas Season.

Thinking and talking about what we would name a third child should we decide to have one after thinking we were ready to stop at two...I plead insanity and amnesia.

Feeling a little restless and buried, yet still grateful for the amazing life I have been given to live. Just need to pull out of the fog of strewn about toys, put another load of laundry on, and keep moving forward.

go gently + be wonderful

2011-10-13T14:00:00.000-04:00

The shop is open and I am slowly stocking shelves.

I have grand plans for holiday themed Story Girl Earrings and will be venturing into soy candles and perfume oils with lovely natural scents like campfire, early grey tea, pipe smoke, grass, hay, Christmas tree, apple cider and so many more!

Check back often and be sure to like "twenty six mermaids" on facebook for updates and promotions!

go gently + be wonderful

Still Trying...

2011-10-13T13:50:00.000-04:00

Where do I start?

Still trying to figure it out.
Still trying to make some extra money.
Still trying to find a rhythm.
Still building the chicken coop.
Still eating bad food.
Still striving to be better.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

Silas' Birthday Picnic

2011-09-06T08:42:00.001-04:00

Lots of rain and even more last minute cancellations, but Silas' first birthday was a success! I had envisioned us on quilts beneath the trees and lots of outdoor games, but we had finally resigned to having it all indoors. Just as the guests began to arrive the sun peeked out and we only had to dart inside for one little rain cloud, but it was ok, for there were candles to be lit and a cake to be eaten.

All in all, it was a great celebration of our dapper man's first year!

thoughts of autumn

2011-08-24T10:53:00.002-04:00

::my gloriously sexy husband preparing the apples for apple butter::

I love autumn. It's true.

The wind changed; it is scented with wood smoke and leaves.

A comfortable chill climbs over the windowsill in the night and rests on bare skin.

This morning is grey and windy.

The kids and I dug potatoes, picked a few red tomatoes and a few more apples.

I think today is a good day for making potato soup, more apple butter and maybe, just maybe, some apple pie pockets.

This fall seems to hold more comfort than any other for some reason. We had grand plans for the new house what with gardens and chickens and decorating and painting. And though we got a small messy garden in, it didn't produce a great deal due to a lot of the nitrogen being used up to break down the sod {so says my farming father}. I managed to get our whole upstairs painted, but the floor is still covered in a gag me orange carpet. Oh yes, we got many things done in the midst of a move and settling, but there is so much more we want to do.

We still have not built our chicken coop nor have we acquired our laying ladies, but if you knew how much Miss Poppy loves chickens you'd see it as the tragedy it would be if we were to wait until next spring! Besides, we'll need something to pull us out of doors when the snow blows and temperatures dip.

Yes, yes, this autumn and winter will be spent dreaming and planning! How my heart aches to know what these hills will look painted with fall's colours and to feel the hot heat of the wood stove. We will hunker down with our new books and bellies full of stew to plan our yard and garden.

Our dream is to have a yard full of veggies, fruits, herbs, and wildflowers. We will plan what we need to make it through a winter eating our own food, make mistakes, and try again the next year.

It is such a joy to make your own butter.
There seems to be nothing gradual about it; it just turns from frothy cream to a lovely lump of yellow butter.
It's beautiful thing.

::making granola::

::Our chicken girl at Nana + Grampa's:

Plan, plant, dry, preserve + eat.

Indeed.

Autumn is in the wind.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

story girl earrings

2011-08-23T12:42:00.000-04:00

*tiny romantic tales hanging delicately from your lobes*

::blue lace::

She wore slender blue lace in the dim light of her apartment. The record player sang a song of romance as her long fingers carefully placed the unruly ringlets falling from their bun.

Just moments before they had been tangled limbs and linen as the voices drifted up from the sidewalk below. Together they told stories of bravery + beauty.

::water droplets::

You crack a glass.

“Sorry” you say...

Liquid runs through pages of books.

Amused,

I want nothing to be dry.

{m.m.}

::lichen::

With a good book and apple in hand she made her way to her favourite rock. She loved to run her hands over the intricate lace pattern of lichen covering its surface.

It sat beneath a tall pine and there, all around her, was the land and house she loved so much.

She was home.

::lilac morning::

Eager barefeet stretch to reach warm slice of sunlight on the floor as the sweet scent of lilacs waltzes over her window sill.

Lilacs remind us that, as sure as the seasons come and go, this too shall pass and the next moment has endless potential for hope, rebirth and beauty.

::moon hearts::

Sliced with care, she finally knew what the moon’s heart looked like...

Now, with them hanging delicately from her lobes she knew her feminine power...for a woman’s power lies in her gentleness.

go gently + be wonderful

this moment...

2011-08-19T09:27:00.000-04:00

{this moment}

A Friday ritual {always} inspired by Soule Mama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

go gently + be wonderful

Apples of our own

2011-08-18T12:47:00.001-04:00

One of the many things we were excited about with this new home is the abundance of wild apple trees strewn about its land. Nearly every night, after checking on the garden, we amble up to the apple trees for an evening snack. Silas usually forages under the tree for apples while Poppy and Daddy seek out the perfect apple on the higher branches. Mama usually stands back marveling at the beauty of her family picking apples grown from our very own land.

I have grand plans of apple pies, apple butter, apple crisp, baked apples and apples sauce.

Oh, how my heart swells with autumn.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

The Simple Life Series

2011-08-15T12:43:00.002-04:00

Sometimes we need beautiful reminders to gently set us back on our path.

I have been working on this new series of photographs. I've paired my photos with good words to encourage the simple, boundless life.

A unique piece of art for your wall or inspiration wall.
A meaningful gift.

They will be signed and packed with love into a clear plastic sleeve with a 9" x 12" white backing for added protection.

You can view the full series here.
These will be available at the 2011 Peterborough Folk Festival.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

this moment...

2011-08-12T09:48:00.000-04:00

{this moment}

A Friday ritual {always} inspired by Soule Mama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

go gently + be wonderful

Homeschooling

2011-08-11T11:42:00.003-04:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson

As promised I will share with you some of our homeschooling plans. Oh where to begin? First I will start with a bit of a disclaimer. I know many readers and friends who have no desire to homeschool or practice our style of parenting and that is totally fine. We fully respect those decisions and in no way want to give the impression that our way is the only way or the right way. Our personal experiences shape our present day decisions and convictions. I also believe that some children excel in a school situation while others flounder. One method is sure to work some and fail for others. Today I will share our views with no hidden agenda or judgement of what others are doing. I will warn you, rather unapologetically, that I may be opinionated in this post. You have your convictions and we have ours and that's what makes the world go 'round.

I am tempted to make a bulleted list of points so here goes:

One of the things Mike and I would like to instill in our children is a sense of self and great confidence something we both lack and struggle with at times. When you know who you are and what you will stand for you also know who you are not and what you won't stand for. In a class of 25 or 30 students how much of yourself must be given up in order to be liked or to fit in? Do we dim our light in an effort to make others feel less threatened?

I am of the belief that children are natural learners and that the rigors of school can kill that delicacy in some children. They may continue to preform, but I can't help but wonder if comes from a place of people pleasing or from a place of authentic interest and motivation.

Many people argue that school teaches children how to deal with later real life situations where they will be forced to work with and for people we don't like or agree with. Sure we won't always be dealt perfect situations in our lives, but do I want a child who will adapt to unpleasant and possibly abusive situations or do I want my child to be strong enough to change what they don't like?

I like the idea of teaching to the level of our own understanding and then reaching out for help if there is an interest to go further. If a child doesn't enjoy math chances are they will not choose a career involving math. I was taught way more math than I had any interest in and only retained the stuff I need to live. What I am trying to say is that there are tutors and friends out there with strengths we may not have to round out the child's learning experience. It takes a village.

We really love the free flow of unschooling and the rhythm and beauty of Waldorf. We don't want a strict curriculum, but we think that a few hours in the morning spent on reading, writing and other basic "conventionall" learning is something we're comfortable with especially when we will have the remaining day and night to follow our hearts into whatever task or topic we desire.

I have great admiration for those who do unschooling full time. It takes a lot of trust and confidence. Mike and I are worriers by nature and don't think we could shrug off the doubt and worry. So we feel the balance of structure and free flow will be good for us and our comfort level.

We don't have cable and we haven't had it for years. I don't like the fast paced, strobe light effect of commercials and short digitally animated shows. I think it is distracting and headache inducing so I can only imagine how it makes children feel. I don't believe the television is ever really quality entertainment for any age of child. Their time is better spent reading, playing, chatting, getting dirty and interacting with other people and nature as often as possible. That being said my kids do watch movies. And yes, they watch Disney movies. Some of them have fun songs and the stories are often from way back with some decent morals. Some of our favourites are The Resucuers, The Jungle Book, Beauty and the Beast, and the original Winnie the Pooh. I would like to add Mary Poppins, Bed Knobs and Broomsticks and The Sound of Music to this list as well. Sometimes they watch older Sesame Street and Berenstain Bears episodes on Netflix. I choose them carefully. I do it because I am alone all day without a car with a needy one year old and a napless two and a half year old. I need a break. That is the reality of it. I hope that when they are a tad bit older they can play for longer periods of time together without biting pulling and pushing and that we will spend endless hours crafting, baking and exploring. The days are long and a movie gives me a chance to breathe and maybe even write a blog or answer emails.

We have a lot of good homemade music and even some prefab dance music. No matter how many options we give Poppy, her favourite song to dance to is still Telephones by Lady Gaga. We also have some kid's music that I remember singing as a child, but our favourite is anything by Elizabeth Mitchell.

Toys are tricky. As much as we try to have simple, open ended toys we still have many noise making pieces of plastic. Some have been gifts and some have been purchased by us at yard sales and thrift stores. I prefer the warmth of wooden or natural fiber toys especially when they are handmade. Yet we still have a mess of toys in every room and it seems that the kids only handle them long enough to toss them on the floor and move on to something else. I think it is time to purge the plastic again.

An incomplete and ever-growing list of our favourite things...

Books

Heaven on Earth

John Holt's books

Seven Times the Sun

Dr. Sears' Collection

Creative Play for your Toddler

Creative Play for your Baby

Dumbing Us Down

Living Simply with Children

Above All Be Kind

The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents

Children's Books

The Apple Cake

Gerda Muller's Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter books

Each Peach Pear Plum

It's Time to Sleep

Goodnight Moon

Runaway Bunny

Peepo

The Old Turtle

The Night You Were Born

Websites

Little Acorn Learning

Oak Meadow Learning

Waldorf Curriculum

Canadian Home Based Learning

The Ontario Federation of Teaching Parents

Music

Magazines

Blogs

Let the Children Play
Bending Birches

Toys Etc

Just like the above list, this blog post is a constant work in progress and liable to change with the wind and the needs of our family. I have tried to include Canadian resources as I know how frustrating it can be as a Canadian trying to sift through the overwhelming amounts of US resources. Please feel free to share anything you have found inspiring or helpful on your journey!

go gently + be wonderful

Homemade Haircuts

2011-08-10T15:01:00.001-04:00

I have had many bad haircuts; traumatic even. Because of that I often cut my own hair or go about once or twice per year to tidy up my messes or refresh the layers. Curls hide a lot of sins. I have been growing my hair out for quite some time now. I go through some fierce post pregnancy shedding and am now in the awkward re-growth stage. This re-growth is highly reactive to humidity.

All that to say I got bored looking at my tired hair style, looked on you tube to figure out the proper way to cut bangs and went to work. I am sure to regret this in a couple of days as I realize the extra work it creates, but for right now, I am happy with the change.

I also started cutting Poppy and Mike's hair. He was feeling rather desperate shortly after our move and we resorted to me cutting it with some small kitchen scissors. I have also been caretaker of his beard for nearly 6 years now. His hair actually turned out quite well and I gave him another haircut last night. Turns out it wasn't just beginners luck.

It saves us a bit of money and I kind of like the challenge, but I think I will stick to the pros for my annual $15 haircut.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

a weekend of kindred spirits

2011-08-09T11:09:00.002-04:00

It was a delightful weekend.
I don't have many pictures to prove it, but these few make me pretty happy.
It was a weekend in which so many of our ideals and goals were reignited.

On Friday we visited Mike's co-worker who lives quite close to us in another old homestead. She offered some of her perennials for fall planting and gave us so many fun and unique ideas for gardens and decor.

On Saturday we got together with our new friends over {husbands and all this time}. We dug some new potatoes and used green onion from the garden to make potato salad. We enjoyed that with grilled ham, tomato and cheese sandwiches and local corn on the cob. Kira made a deliciously fresh peach tart with whipped cream. The kids played in the impromptu sand box I made out of one of our front flower beds while we talked about milking cows, autoharps, and chicken coops. The kids were dirty, sweaty, happy messes by the time 8 o'clock rolled around. We went to bed talking about making our whole yard into a wild mess of food and flowers and the possibilities of a milking cow. We are in the right place. We are surrounded by the right people.

On Sunday we were invited to another local family's home in the country for tea and gleaned strawberry crumble. There, amidst the trees, lives a family of collectors; an artist, a hunter and their delightful homeschooled daughter. It was inspiring on yet another level. We have wanted to homeschool since before we even had our kids; it just seems so right for us. This visit quelled any persistent fears we may have had with regards to socialization. My biggest worry, I think, has been whether or not we are, in fact, enough. They assured us that we are. I am planning an entire post on homeschooling later this week and will speak more deeply on the topic at that time. Just as we were leaving, Michele left me with the most wonderful image as she told me about reading Little House on the Prairie snuggled up in a chair while the snow swirled outside and her kids telling her 'this is bliss'. Yes, that sound like the very definition of bliss. Our plan to homeschool is in full force and unshakable.

Oh yes, we are on the right path.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

Smitten the kitten + a blue bedroom

2011-08-05T13:13:00.001-04:00

Much to the chagrin of my husband, I have been sneaking away in the evenings and weekends to get the upstairs painted. Our three bedrooms are all in the upstairs of the original log home built in 1908. All of the wood paneling was stained a horrid dark colour with even darker trim. The walls that were painted were a gag-me dank yellow. I should also mention that the walls are made up of a patchwork of something slightly better than cardboard (the name and logic for covering walls with this material escapes me). The previous owner started covering it with slats of pine which, when painted out in white and soft grey look rather beachy. It looks like they stopped this project as soon as the sale papers were signed though.

On the floors we have a horrid old orange carpet. I am not sure when it was ever acceptable to put such an ugly thing into one's house, but alas here we are. I had planned to rip it up and paint the plywood in fresh white until we could put money into a new floor, but so far I have found painted linoleum, chip board, plywood in another uneven patchwork pattern. I haven't come up with a solution for that yet.

I am happy to report that the upstairs painting is done. Poppy's room is a soft candy pink with white. The spare room is verdgris blue and white. I just need to paint the black and butterscotch stairs out in white and figure out a solution for the floor.

::Edit:: The swag light was in natural wood and left here by the previous owners so I gave it a coat of white spray paint to freshen it up. I did the same thing with one of the m any old frames we found in my Gramma's studio and a rather hideous mounted piece of driftwood (seen on top right of the dresser) I found at our local Value Village. I will add wire to the frame and hang earrings on it and I hang little bits of jewelry on the driftwood as well.

In other news, our dear friends showed up for a visit on Saturday and just happened to bring along the last kitten she needed to find a home for. Needless to say, the kitten stayed. We weren't in the market for another cat, but he was just too snuggly and tolerant of the kids and dog not to keep. Mike named him (we originally thought it was a she) Smitten. He is rather darling wouldn't you say?

Happy weekend friends

go gently + be wonderful

e.

childhood haunts

2011-08-04T08:45:00.002-04:00

Thinking back, I had a lot of good places to run when I was a child. This weekend I was able to revisit and share one of those good places with my own children and husband. My step mother's family has owned and summered on an island in Lake Ontario for generations now.
I have good memories of this place running free with my cousins. I remember happy hour. I remember begging for a Loonie so we could boat over to the store for candy after supper every night. I remember wanting to go swimming only to find that the Grinch (my Uncle Len) had stolen them and sent us on a wild scavenger hunt around the island to find them. I remember the smells. I remember the campfires on the point. I remember honking our horn as we arrived on the mainland and then waving frantically on the dock (in a pre -cellphone world) in hopes that someone would hear you and hop in the boat to pick you up. I remember seeing the huge cement boat going by in the distance and racing to get our bathing suits on to catch the giant waves that would soon follow. I remember swimming to the raft and playing in stormy waters in our life jackets. I remember falling asleep waterlogged and happy. I remember the cold rainy days spent playing games and reading inside.

There were a lot of sad and disappointing things about my childhood, but there were a lot of good things too. This place and these memories are most definitely one of those good things.

I choose to hold onto those.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

new friends

2011-07-29T11:10:00.001-04:00

I did something funny.

A few weeks after moving to our teeny tiny town I made a little poster with my email stating that we were a young family new to the area hoping to meet other homesteading, homeschooling families. I honestly didn't know what to expect and I felt like a bit of a boob as I waited for our post office to clear out before I sheepishly pinned the posters up, but I figured I had nothing to lose.

I can tell you I wasn't overwhelmed with emails, but I did receive one response. From another young family living on 25 acres 10 minutes away with four year old Auren and 2 year old Fern (expecting another in late fall), many chickens, 5 pigs, 4 cats, a gentle dog, and big plans. The kids play really well together while their sweet mama and I laugh and chat easily.

The above photos were taken at their home when we met up for our second ~~playdate~~ (my goodness, I hate that word) get-together. It is still early, but I think this is the beginning of something really great.

I wanted to share this lesson in stepping outside of the box and tapping into the community in your own backyard. I encourage you to try it.

Feel free to share your stories of how you are creating your own community.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

sleep update

2011-07-28T10:43:00.000-04:00

I wanted to thank each and every one of you for your kind comments and emails full of advice with regards to this post a few weeks ago. After reading each tidbit of advice and personal account I decided it was nothing short of insanity to expect a lovely little routine with such young ones. Instead, we decided to focus on routine check points throughout our day especially with our night time routine.

So our mornings and days are still a crazy stew of good and bad things, but our nights have a little more structure. And though we haven't mastered the punctual bedtime, we have been sticking to the following routine fairly well. {Note: there is a difference between schedule and routine. We do the same thing with the same end just not at the same time every day.}

Bath
Jammies
Brush Teeth
Mike reads to Poppy in her bed while I nurse Silas to sleep
We then move him into the crib in our room
We then switch and I lay with Poppy until she falls asleep
Silas sleeps about 3 to 4 hours in the crib and then we move him into our bed so I can nurse him back to sleep
Poppy usually will sleep through the night, but either wakes up at 5am and calls for me (not at all upset) and I tuck her back in and rub her back until she goes back to sleep.
Silas has been waking about 2 to 3 times per night since we implemented this and is sleeping in a little later in the mornings which is nice.

So yes, it wasn't perfect, but it was a start and we felt a little more in control. That being said, something changed. Poppy has napped for the past three afternoons and it has thrown our little routine for a loop. It is difficult enough to get Poppy to sleep before 9pm without a nap. As much as I revel in the quiet of the simultaneous nap time, I know I will pay dearly for it later. Silas hasn't been falling asleep as I nurse him, and they have been bouncing off the walls until we all fall asleep in an exhausted heap in our bed at 11 pm or later. I then wake Mike up and we move them to their beds.

With all of this, Silas has been waking his usual 5 times per night again. Let me first tell you that I don't have an issue with "parenting" my kids to sleep. What makes me crazy is the constant night waking that seems to be getting worse rather than better at 11 months of age. No matter what we do, Silas howls and cries unless I nurse him back to sleep. We pat, sway, sling, sing, rock, dance, and hold him in a attempt to get him back to sleep, but he just pushes our hands away and continues to wail and flop around. He won't take a soother. Last night, after finally getting him to sleep at 11pm, he woke up not even an hour later. We brought him into our bed and let him cry. We have never done the cry it out method and don't want to resort to it, but if we ever want to sleep through the night again, something has to change. So we let him flail and scream between us while we rubbed his back and after 10 minutes he went from a full blown cry to a deep sleep. He woke two more times in the night and I nursed him back to sleep both times.

The only thing we can think of or that we have read is that he is in the habit of nursing and knows that if he wakes up, I will be there with his comfort. Our plan is to do as we did last night and let him cry in our arms until he goes back to sleep. A sort of controlled cry it out. Our hope is that he will realize he doesn't get to nurse every time he wakes up and will, in turn, begin to sleep for longer periods of time.

Parenting is tough. It's even tougher when you lack deep, restorative, patience-giving sleep.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

screen printed shirts

2011-07-26T15:17:00.000-04:00

red antler women's tee

size 2T kid's tees

Slowly, between diaper changes, snacks, kitchen dancing, laughing and crying, I have been getting a few items ready for the Peterborough Folk Festival. Each one is based off of simple line drawings I do and no two are exactly alike as I only use each stencil once. I find gently used clothing and upcycle them into their glorious, screen printed destiny.

I have had some requests regarding an Etsy shop. I don't currently have items for sale, but am considering it it the near future. I will keep you posted!

go gently + be wonderful

e.

peaches + rain

2011-07-25T09:25:00.000-04:00

The morning air is scented with peaches and rain with an undertone of coniferous. I am reminded of childhood. Sundays have become our favourite day as we watch reluctant cars make their way back to their respective cities and we putter in the yard and house unfettered by travel or traffic.

We moved the woodpile to make way for the coming chicken coop. We hope to build the chicken coop in the next couple of weeks and get four laying hens soon after. As Mike moved the woodpile he kept finding snake skins which we showed to Poppy and admired closely. Then, as he neared the bottom of the pile, three snakes slithered out. We lifted the pallets up to find holes in the ground and the snakes kept returning looking rather confused. My heart broke for them as they slid away to find new shelter. These Garter snakes are harmless and timid little creatures. Rationally, I do know this, but it has awakened a limb-numbing fear in me.

I should first tell you that I can't remember the last time I even saw a snake before moving here, but I would bet it was at least a decade, maybe even two. But since moving here I have had 13 very close encounters with them and as I said, I have realized I have a totally irrational and paralyzing fear of them. Now I am not a squeamish girl and have been known to save spiders and earwigs from death by carrying them outside to safety. When I mentioned this surge in snake sightings, a dear friend sent me this link about snake totems. I do feel as though I am on the verge or in the midst of a rebirth living here in the trees. I welcome the snakes, I just ask that they don't freak me out. They have my full attention and respect.

We cut the lawn, hung laundry, bought all sorts of paint to brighten our bedrooms and hallway, painted the hallway in 'Unicorn White', weeded the garden, found a most perfect door for our chicken coop at a nearby junk + antique barn, and then in the late afternoon, made our way to the lake for a tourist free dip.

I am reminded yet again of how blessed and marvelous this life is.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

New Photo Packaging

2011-07-22T10:37:00.002-04:00

I am really happy with the way these little wallet sized photos pop in there new paper frames.
Yay.

Signed.

Five dollars.

Handmade business cards.
Each one is a labour of love.

For those of you who have followed me through the years know I am rather fickle with my blog + business names. As I was getting ready for another name change (perhaps even the final one?!) I read this quote and I knew in a heartbeat.

"I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living."
— Anaïs Nin

It was decided that the name "twenty six mermaids" (which has been floating around in my head for years now) would finally have its chance. It sums up a lot and reminds me of the deeper importance and personal meaning of creating.

And now you know.

go gently + be wonderful

wash away my sins

2011-07-20T19:49:00.001-04:00

Heat Wave.

Cranky kids + Mama.

Cabin Fever.

Boredom.

Messes upon messes.

Frustration.

All of it washed away as I glide into the cool water of Gooderham Lake. My scalp thrills as the water makes its way through hot tangled curls. My body made heavy by pregnancy, time, and comfort is new and blurred just under the surface and, for a moment, I forget to hate myself. Cool and quiet, I try to remember the last time I actually swam.
Wet skin, goosebumps in the heat, Mumford + Sons roaring, and milkshakes wash the day's sins away and I can begin again.

Milkshake Recipe

Kawartha Dairy Ice Cream

Kawartha Dairy Milk

Organic Strawberry Jam

Frozen Organic Strawberries

*No measuring required, just make it as big or as small and as thick or as runny as your little heart desires.

1. Blend.

2. Pour into Mason jar.

3. Insert pretty straw.

4. Enjoy.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

An Old Fashioned Picnic

2011-07-20T13:04:00.003-04:00

For Silas' 1st birthday party we have decided to take advantage of the warm weather and big outdoor space our new home boasts by holding a good old fashioned picnic with friends and family. I must admit, my inner Gramma is in old fashioned heaven with the preparations for this Labour Day celebration.

We plan on having a photo booth with fun mustache and glasses props set on a bold fabric background. Instead of lame loot bags, I thought we could send the families their family photos after editing. Simple picnic fare and party food will be washed down with iced tea, lemonade, and Pop Shoppe pop on ice. Activities will include three legged races, nail hammering contests, and maybe a log cutting competition! I even made my first hoola hoop in red and white stripes to match the vintage looking paper straws and will be making a few more {in yellow, white and navy stripes} to have on hand for when the hip twirling mood strikes our guests.

We have asked that our guests join the fun and dress up too. I have a green vintage dress {fifties style?} and we found the most perfect cap, wool tie, and beige suspenders for Mike at our local Value Village. In the same trip we scored a pint sized straw fedora style hat for Silas. Now to find a picnic dress for Poppy and the main outfits are complete...unless, of course, I find a large sunhat or other vintage treasure I just can't pass up.

I will be sharing a few of the fun projects with you as I go so be sure to check back for more old fashioned fun.

go gently + be wonderful

Another Sunday at Ellenberger Organic Farm

2011-07-18T10:29:00.000-04:00

We always come away feeling restored and inspired after spending time on Ellenberger Organic Farm. This visit was a special one in that we went to meet the 52 five day old chicks they received on Wednesday. Poppy was excited as she is a tad obsessed with all things chicken and chicken eggs {as is her Mama if we're being honest}. If we had let her, she would have sat contentedly by their side for hours, but instead begged to go see them again and again {and again and again} throughout the visit when she wasn't eating raspberries and running through the sprinkler.

Another fun activity was making butter with the churn we found at a local antique barn. We took turns churning it and while I sat in the shade of the apple tree it turned into glorious, yellow butter and all was right with the world.

While Mike and Janet churned, Dad and I went through an old trunk which holds my deceased Aunt's belongings. It was both eerie and comforting as she passed away 2 months before her 20th birthday back in 1977. I never knew her, but I have always wondered what it would have been like to know her. She seemed feisty and smart and I think I would have loved her dearly. The trunk was filled with photos and letters, notes from boys with crushes on her, letters from pen pals in Germany, clothing, hair from the mane of her horse, drawings and trinkets.

I am reading a book about the past lives of children and am at the part about people being reborn into the same family. I can't help but wonder {hope}. In case you're wondering, I have not a single a doubt that we live many lives and that children can remember them. And yes, I will be listening {and recording} very carefully when Poppy + Silas start to talk about it.

Yes, it was another good day on Ellenberger Organic Farm.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

make pretty things or bust

2011-07-14T08:42:00.000-04:00

This year, instead of my usual hand drawn signs I thought I would go for a more polished look with my signage. This means I have to organize and focus on what I want to make and sell well before the show. I am happy with the results. This year, I will be making wish bracelets. I love the understated beauty of these. If my style were a bracelet, this would be it.

I will also be choosing a series of photos that define "beauty in the details" and adding inspirational quotes perfect for those corners of the home needing inspiration and joy. Tiny, pretty reminders to be mindful and ever-present.

As I begin making pretty things for the first time in nearly a year, I realize something about myself: if I don't make time for pretty things, I will suffocate. They don't have to be particularly brilliant or artistic, but I must do it. I usually do quite well at the Peterborough Folk Festival, but this year it is more about the process. Of course we could use the money, but I am realizing that this is more of a sanity saving project than a money making one. If I can cover my costs and keep making things, this Mama will be sustained.

I enjoy finding the look and feel.
I love coming up with creative/minimal packaging.
I love melding words and stories into the tiny things I make.
I love bringing it all together in an attempt to make it all contradicting and cohesive.

I struggle with calling myself an artist or a photographer because I don't paint or play an instrument or have formal training. I have an old school definition of what an artist is dancing around this head of mine, but I am learning to ignore it and make for the sake of making; make for the sake of sanity. Because we're all artists and photographers in our own rite if we'd only let go and ride the wind.

More to come, deer hearts.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

Fridge Organization 101

2011-07-11T11:46:00.001-04:00

I love Pinterest and I just adore the idea of Pinning Real Life. There are just so many good things to be made, decorated, re-purposed, and organized! So in an attempt to motivate and organize myself, I will try to work my way through my Good Ideas Board and share the results with you as I go.

A few weeks ago I made the Bleach Pen Tshirt. This week, I cleaned my fridge {original pin found here}. I know, I know, not too exciting or crafty, but without organization, this mama can't create. And since tossing everything in on moving day it has been making me bonkers with all its discombobulation.

I am not sure why I never thought of using plastic bins in the fridge before, but it is pure genius. No more taking 15 jars out to get to the jam or mayo in the back. No more hidden corners where leftovers go to die. Spills are contained to one bin instead of creeping through the whole fridge. An organized fridge is a thing of magic. Magic, I tell you. You may have noticed the middle door shelf is missing. It was the one casualty of this project {likely due to the fact that I had a cranky 10 month old strapped to my back, but it did make me get ruthless with our over abundance of condiments so it was a blessing in disguise I guess. Seriously, who has that many condiments?

One of my other favourite parts of the new organization was the creation of a snack bin for the kids {original pin found here}. A place to keep pre-cut cheese, fruit, veggies, snack sized yogurt and apples sauce, etc. I also keep two sippy cups ready to go here so we can keep track of whose is whose and cuts down on the cheese making sippy cups we find under couches and car seats. Simplicity at its finest eh?

The only thing left to do is to label the bins so it stays this way.

Details for those who are inspired to clean their fridges:

Top shelf: snack sized foods and one bin with jams and other spreads

Middle Shelf: Drawer used for extra bags of milk {yes, in Canada we get our milk in bags...I didn't know this was unusual until they mentioned it on 30 Rock}. Under the drawer is the kid's snack bin. Beside that is the dairy bin.

Bottom Shelf: Space for leftovers, milk, juice and water and a bin of most popular condiments

Bottom Drawer #1: Veggies

Bottom Drawer #2: Fruits

Top Side Shelf: Butter, cheese slices, brick cheese, eggs, smaller items I use regularly.

Bottom Side Shelf: Salad dressings and marinades

I don't know about you, but I feel good. I promise to do a more interesting Pin next time.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

pretty face contest

2011-07-08T07:59:00.000-04:00

Hello all.

I recently purchased this sweet conductor's hate for Silas from Bula Jean's Boutique on Etsy. When I found out she was hosting a teensy photo contest I decided to enter it. He is neck and neck with another cute baby so this is me shamelessly begging for your votes.

If you're on Facebook and would like to indulge this mama, please "LIKE" Bula Jean's Boutique and then both comment and "LIKE" the above photo of the wee man. While you're there, feel free to add me as a friend if you are so inclined {erin ellenberger-march}.

It isn't about the photo or the prize, it is just a bit of fun and as Mike's cousin put it: "...I don't want to live in a world where Silas doesn't win pretty face contests...".

Thanks in advance my lovely dears.
Erin

Sleepless in Gooderham

2011-07-06T11:32:00.003-04:00

I feel as though I am beating this subject to a pulp lately, but I must ask your advice and talk my way through it. When Poppy was born, we fell into a gentle rhythm or nursing and sleeping. It felt natural and rather effortless in almost every way. We co-slept. She weaned herself around 11 months. Her teeth came slowly as did her words and communication. A speech specialist at the Early Years Center said that it was likely that she didn't feel the need for words as all of her needs were being met. She would fight sleep with all her might, but once she was there she stayed there.

Our plans were to do the same with Silas. We co-sleep and nurse. He, however, is the opposite and falls into sleep rather effortlessly, but it is fragile and he wakes at the slightest movement or sound. He only nurses once or twice during the day and wakes nearly every one or two hours through the night. Despite singing, patting, shhhhing, swaying and rocking, the only thing that gets him back to sleep is five to ten minutes of nursing. We have tried laying him in a crib beside our bed and, if he doesn't wake when we place him in it, he sleeps no longer than when he is in our bed.

On top of this we have moved Poppy into her own room so she has been waking at least once or twice. Not upset, but saying "Where Mama?". I just lay with her until she goes back to sleep. She was in our bed until Silas was born at which time she transitioned to a toddler bed in our room. She has been sleeping through the night consistently for a long time now. Before we moved we were in a pretty decent routine of a 7 to 8pm bedtime for both of them with Poppy sleeping through the night and Silas waking his usual amounts. In the past, I have found that if Poppy naps during the day she is up, despite our best efforts, until as late as 10:30 or 11:00pm, but everything I read tells me she needs a nap.

Our days are chaos. Our bedtime routine consists of tears and frustration most of the time and usually ends with all of us flailing until we fall into a restless tangle of sleep. I don't know if it is their age, age difference, or just our own lack of structure, but we just can't seem to get our footing. Nothing at all is consistent.

Here, let me show you...

6:30am to 9:00am:

Silas wakes at the early end while Poppy wakes at the later end. This changes daily.

Diaper changes

Breakfast

Mama tidies the kitchen, washes her face and hair, brushes her teeth.

9:00 until 12:00pm:

Chaos including, but not limited to: diaper changes, snacking, baking, counting, reading, pretend play, painting, colouring, drawing, refereeing, biting, hitting, timeouts, cleaning, teeth brushing, Sesame Street, lunch preparations, Silas getting cranky until I put him in the Ergo to fall asleep...or not, letting the dog in, letting the dog out, rescuing chipmunks from the cat's jaws of death, Poppy asking for no less than 30 snacks {yogurt, apple, bagel and cheese, vitamins, juice, milk, water, cheese, pickles, cereal, etc.}, outdoor time which usually includes Silas cranking, and Poppy giving him dirt and rocks to eat until the bugs drive us inside for lunch.

*The new addition of a blow up pool has made outdoor time a little more successful. For Silas' birthday we plan on purchasing a large swing/slide/play structure and making a noise wall.

12:00 until 1:00pm:

Making lunch while Poppy demands more snacks and Silas whines.

Inhaling lunch and leaving the kitchen in a state to rush upstairs for quiet story / nap time which usually leaves one sleeping and one awake, both awake or, very rarely, both asleep.

1:00 until 4:00pm

Whoever is asleep, sleeps.

Whoever is awake does a repeat of the morning shit storm.

If they both sleep, I read, clean, nap, or make feeble attempts at organizing our lives.

4:00pm until 5:00pm:

Prepare supper between whining, biting, hitting, and timeouts until I put Sesame Street on.

5:00pm until 6:00pm

Eat and tidy kitchen while the kids undo nearly everything we do.

6:00 pm until 7:00pm

Family time which includes reading, tickling, pretend play, check the garden, grocery shopping, a drive into town, etc.

7:00pm until 8:00pm

Bath, snack, brush teeth

8:00pm until whenever:

Nurse or carry Silas to sleep

Wrestle Poppy to sleep

After that, Mike and I collapse into tired heaps and usually zone out to some online time rather than re-connecting until we turn out the lights, hold hands, mumble an apology for being short with one another and a heartfelt "I love you" and fall asleep.

Yeah. It leaves a lot to be desired.

If you care to do so, please leave a link or share what your average day looks like. Tell me, how do you get your kids to sleep through the night? How do you find the strength and time for yourself? How did you establish boundaries and structure? What obstacles did you encounter?

I understand that I can't expect too much with their young ages, but I am looking for things I can do to make our days flow a bit better for my own sanity. I have been examining my anger and have found its roots lie in powerlessness and lack of confidence in what I am doing. If I can empower myself with effective and kind discipline and routine, I think could be a more effective teacher and more patient mama.

Also of note:

I don't want to nurse much past a year, but want to wean gently. I have been pregnant, breast feeding, or both for the past 3 years and that is enough for me.
We have no problem with helping the kids get to sleep or with having them in our room and bed until they are ready to transition.
have made efforts to meet some local families to play with {I put a sign up in the post office and got one reply so far...Hey, we'll try anything}
There are benefits of not having too much routine. Our kids are pretty easily adaptable to new places and changes and remain good tempered where others may not do so well.
That being said, I want a routine. I just don't know how to implement one without being ruthless.
To be honest, I am not totally comfortable with having a mother's helper here nor am I comfortable leaving the kids with anyone other than a trusted adult. Call me crazy, but texting teens don't really instill a great deal of confidence in me.

go gently + be wonderful

poppy's first haircut

2011-06-30T10:41:00.001-04:00

Last night, I decided it was time to give Poppy her first haircut. Her ringlets are often quite tousled and out of control, but when she began to grow what looked like a ringlet rat tale I knew something had to be done. I have, on many occasions, cut my own curly hair with the kitchen scissors with both great and not so great results. Curly hair hides a lot of sins, that I know for sure.

I was a little nervous about cutting Poppy's virgin curls, but I strapped her into her booster seat, Daddy distracted her with funny animal videos on you tube, and I gave her a little curly bob. I quickly collected the lost curls for her baby book and released my restless toddler.

I spent the rest of the evening admiring the fresh cut curls as they bounced prettily around her shoulders and marveled at how quickly these milestones come upon us. Some days it is like watching grass grow, but other days it is like watching a wildfire rip through, both can be equally difficult in their own rite.

go gently + be wonderful

a room of my own

2011-06-27T09:49:00.000-04:00

I recently registered to be a vendor at the Annual Peterborough Folk Festival. I haven't been all that productive in the crafty department since Silas's arrival nearly ten months ago, but I thought this show, which happens August 27th, may be just the thing I need to push me, ever so abruptly, back into crafty-dom. Months ago, I promised I would be re-opening my Etsy shop, but between the move, and a lack of time and focus, it never happened.

So, first things first, I had to clear the room just off the kitchen which we had affectionately begun calling the 'Room of Boxes' and make it into something functional. It is a small room, but it is well lit, looks out into the woods and it is all mine. It is a work in progress, but it does feel good to claim it.

Now to begin creating. I am feeling the need to streamline my products and presentation for this show. Start fresh. Clean out my market box and begin again. Pick a few items and focus on those. Think through the presentation and meaning and {minimal} packaging. Concentrate on what I enjoy making and leave it at that. Yeah, enjoy the process.

I will keep you posted.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

this moment

2011-06-24T14:22:00.000-04:00

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

go gently + be wonderful

bleach pen t-shirt

2011-06-23T08:47:00.001-04:00

I recently pinned this idea on Pinterest and couldn't wait to try it. One of the things I sell when doing craft shows and markets are upcycled screen printed clothing. I just use the simple freezer paper method seen nearly everywhere now, but first seen in Soulemama's first book The Creative Family. It is effective, but a little tedious when doing many items and sometimes lacks the fluidity I would like.

Enter the three dollar bleach pen. I don't know why I never thought of this before! I just free-handed a design onto a perfectly worn gray t-shirt I found at Value Village and rinsed it off when I liked the colour it had changed to. I was on the phone when it was time to rinse so I couldn't be as careful as I should have which resulted in a few rouge bleach marks, but I think it adds to the rather weathered look of the shirt.

Seriously simple and rewarding project. Try it.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

thirty one things you may or may not know about me...

2011-06-22T19:06:00.000-04:00

I turned thirty one today.
I have a diastema {gap between my two front teeth}.
I wish I hadn't filled it in 8 years ago now that Silas has the same family trait.
I find my birthday to be the loneliest day of the year.
I don't think I can come up with thirty one "interesting" truths about myself.
I weighed 167 pounds this morning.
I would like to weigh 20 pounds less.
I can't burp.
I swear like a sailor.
I like Randy Travis.
I still miss my Gramma.
I make a lot of tea.
I rarely drink it.
I am an only child.
I often wish I wasn't.
I met my husband online. {Lava Life}.
I think every house should have an outhouse.
I want a pet crow.
I would like to ride horses again.
I prefer bare feet.
I believe in ghosts and past lives.
I sort of like watching Sesame Street.
I am painting our front door yellow.
I eat a lot of cilantro.
I love Indian food.
I like the number 26.
I firmly believe that the toilet paper should come over the top.
I am trying to convince Mike he should bring back bow ties and suspenders.
I love The Waltons.
I would like to make pottery again.
I have big feet.

a mess of berries

2011-06-20T09:47:00.001-04:00

It was a good weekend.

unfettered thrifting

a new to me Filter Queen vacuum

a fenced garden

a newly discovered swimming hole not 7 minutes away

peonies, daisies and buttercups

Father's Day at Ellenberger's Organic Farm

berry picking

working horses in the hay field

stained fingertips

sticky, happy, sleepy children

Sun warmed berries

the year's first sunburn

a birthday trailer

sun soaked laundry

one blessed and charmed life

Yes it was one lovely, productive weekend. Now, if you need me, you can find me in the kitchen hulling and freezing a mess of strawberries for the winter months.

P.S. as you can see I am having way too much fun making new headers. The novelty should where off soon.

go gently + be wonderful

she has come undone.

2011-06-17T11:08:00.001-04:00

I love the suspense and promise of the peony.

How perfectly elegant + frivolous they are.

Like the puffed sleeves Anne so desperately wanted Marilla to sew onto her dress for the Strawberry Social.

{or was it the Ice Cream Social?}

Or the fluffy icing on a tall white cake.

Or the colour of ballet slippers.

Or swan feathers.

Sometimes, when I let my mind wander, it nestles into the petals of a peony, listens to the gossip of passing bumble bees, and just moments before quiet slumber swaddles me in her blanket, I remember where I came from.

The wind and the clouds and good summer dreams are held within these petals.

go gently + be wonderful

the joys of making it yourself

2011-06-15T11:41:00.002-04:00

Now that getting a chocolate bar involves a significant and wasteful car ride I have become more resourceful. I was raiding the cupboards for something sweet last week when I came across the milk chocolate chips and a jar of unsalted almonds. Growing tired of eating plain chocolate chips, I melted the chocolate and spread half of it onto waxed paper, sprinkled it with the almonds, drizzled it with the remaining chocolate, and, because I couldn't wait a second longer than absolutely necessary, placed it in the freezer to set.

Another favourite is dipping strawberries in said chocolate which, as you will see in the photo below, Poppy got her hands on fresh out of the bath.

Not rocket science, I know, but you have to admit it is a little more refined than scarfing down Chipits straight from the bag.

Next up, I will share a basic cracker recipe.

P.S. I am rather in love with my new header also made myself.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

beauty in the details

2011-06-14T08:50:00.000-04:00

Today I am.

::Wishing:: my handsome husband a Happy Fourth Wedding Anniversary and nearly eight years of "together".

::Trying:: to make this a good day despite the interrupted sleep {6 times} and a much too early start for some cranky and sick kidlets.

::Thinking:: I am going to want/need a do-over.

::Craving:: Doritos + chocolate.

::Wearing:: Yesterday's pants upon which Poppy leaked pee onto while cuddling after her nap.

::Hearing:: The furnace. In June.

::Needing:: Some romance and a tan.

::Smelling:: A hint of yesterdays's homemade dill + garlic and sun dried tomato + basil crackers.

::Looking:: Forward to a drive, a walk and some ice cream tonight upon Mike's arrival.

::Remembering:: The beauty is in the details...trying anyway.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

The rain came

2011-06-09T07:43:00.001-04:00

{source}

I ran out to the clothesline to rescue the dry clothes from the fast moving storm. My hands moved clumsily as I swatted at the deer flies and grasped for the clothespins. I was trying to beat the rain, but as I felt the first dollops hit my sweaty skin I changed my mind.

Instead of running, I stayed with it.
I stayed out until my clothes were soaked through.
I stayed out until my pants were so heavy with water I had to take them off.
I stayed out until I had to let the weight of my hair down.
I stayed out until I could feel a little bit of normal creep back into my bones.

I was baptized.

Mike worried that I would be hit by lightening and urged me to come in. He looked so tiny standing on the porch flailing his arms, but when I waved my pants at him to let him know I was going to be a while I could tell he knew I needed the rain. Like Big Fish, I was getting dried out. He smiled and went back in, but I knew he was keeping a watchful eye on his wayward lamb and wouldn't rest until I was back with the flock. I couldn't help but love him for it.

Our house looked like a warm ember glowing in the purple darkness of the storm and I could see my family moving safety inside. It throbbed with heat while I walked slowly in the sweet, cool rain. And I was grateful and new again.

I finally came in and Mike greeted me with a towel and a deep hug. As I walked up the stairs to our bedroom I felt, for the first time since moving here, that this was home. Not a vacation or some temporary good place. In a moment, I knew I was going to be ok and these walls were going to keep us safe on our journey.

I am growing into my own. I get a fresh start here. I care less about what people think and talk with everyone as though they are long lost friends. I shake their hands and ask for their names and sincerely hope to run into them again.

I am a tangle slowly coming undone.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

anger and what lies beneath it

2011-06-06T16:33:00.000-04:00

I am a quick tempered woman. I grew up in a house with a lot of anger and sometimes even frightening rage. But this isn't a post about placing blame on my parents or my situation or how I was raised to excuse my own behaviour, but one about standing up and owning up.

It is true what they say, that a child will bring out both the best and the worst in you. They will coax it out of the most unexpected places I assure you. The good, the bad, the brilliant, and the cringe-worthy. My biggest flaws are my fast anger and easy frustration. I snap quickly and recover quickly, but my words during that brief and red hot time are no less hurtful or unproductive.

As a stay at home mom of two little ones I am taken to my edge everyday. By the time Mike gets home I am often mere moments away from twitching and rocking on the bathroom floor. I wake up with grand visions of a day filled with frolicking in the fields wearing a sun dress taking beautiful photos of my beautiful children just like so many other bloggers I follow. They rarely, if ever turn out like that. I am usually running around from one chore to the next while intermittently changing dirty diapers and re-filling empty sippy cups until I finally get to go to sleep only to have our 9 month old wake up 5 or 6 times in the night only to refuse any comforting, singing, swaying, rocking, or patting that isn't accompanied by nursing.

I know I am often my own worst enemy as I flail and muddle through our unstructured days. I crave boundaries and rhythm just as much as children do and when I don't get it I get unruly.

I recently had a shocking realization that if I were paying someone for the care I am providing for my own children I would be incredibly disappointed and disheartened.

That was hard for me to say out loud.

I still stand by my decision to stay home and believe wholeheartedly in its importance.

There is no other job I would rather do.

But it is hard.

Damn hard.

Harder than I had ever imagined or prepared for.

It is often a lonely, mind numbing job.

And some days I am just angry.

This isn't to say I am giving up. No, no, no. I may be a lot of things, but a quitter I am not. I am simply lacking the tools and structure I need to make these early days good ones and I have access to plenty of wise women both online and in the flesh to remedy that. I have armed myself with many of the great books I see recommended by other bloggers I admire including Seven Times the Sun, Heaven on Earth, Creative Play for Your Baby/Toddler, Living Simply With Children, Above All, Be Kind, etc. I have even tried following some of the guides offered through Little Acorn Learning.com. Perhaps Poppy is still too young or perhaps I should just keep to the routine and wait for her to catch on. I don’t know, I’ve never done this before. All the books paint a lovely calm picture of free play and helping with house work, but it never happens that way. She would rather bang the broom over Silas’ head or dump all the water on the floor than “help” with sweeping or dishes. Am I doing something wrong? Am I expecting too much from her at 2? We don’t have Waldorf schools nearby to observe so I really don’t know if I have a good grasp on what to do in daily situations. And it doesn’t have to be a purely Waldorf day either, I just appreciate the calmness and ritual aspects that a lot of daycares can provide. Let it be known that I am in no way against good daycare, but would like the best of both worlds in which I can watch my kids grow and change while giving them the benefits and activity daycare provides.

I would love to hear your suggestions on life with the under 2 years of age category, but in the meantime I have created a plan in hopes of getting on track. I have found that the best way to get my mind in the right headspace is to treat this as my job and our home as my “daycare”. I know this may seem odd, but it really hit home when I thought about what I would want in an ideal daycare provider and then realized I wasn’t giving that to my own children on a daily basis.

I started with a list entitled “Daily Rhythm” with the outline of how our days will flow; our inhale and exhale is you will. It includes things like waking, chores, meals, snacks, outdoor time, nap time, story time, crafting, baking, family time, bedtime routine etc.

I then broke it down into a daily work sheet to fill in so I can organize meals, snacks, and activities for the day and added a weekly colour, letter, plant, animal, and number to work into our daily activities. I did this so I can be sure to have all the necessary supplies in the house when the time comes. These will evolve as the kids do and as I become more inspired.

I am doing this for my own sanity as much as I am doing it for my children. My anger is deep rooted and often more than spilled milk and broken items, but sometimes it is just that.

I am working on it.

go gently + be wonderful

tilling the land

2011-06-04T10:25:00.002-04:00

After pounding a metal stake into our rocky, uneven ground for what felt like forever, Dad and Mike arrived at the conclusion that this was the chosen location for our vegetable garden. I hate cutting down any sort of tree, but dad comforted me by telling me that none of the trees in a large clump would do well so we cut out the scrub and brush trees to the right to allow the cedar to flourish and clear a path for the sunlight space for the new garden.

After searching our local sawmills and lumber stores for fence posts and being turned off by the high prices for delivery and each piece we thought we may as well use the trees we had already cut for this purpose. They are a little gnarled and crooked and I am not sure how long they will last in wet ground, but I think it will add a touch of whimsy to our wabi sabi garden. I have seen four poster beds made from entire trees and envision something similar with chimes and vines growing up and through without blocking too much sun.

We rented a tiller from the local hardware store and Mike was able to tear up the sod and soil through it took a long time and a great deal of muscle, but once he found his rhythm it went smoothly. The bugs were too intense for the kids and I so I went inside out of pure frustration. Mike is a freak of nature and though the bugs will bite him, he never gets itchy or swollen. The kids and I are eaten alive and then driven insane with the itch.

I enjoy witnessing this man come into his own. I watched him wrestle with the soil while I made supper and tended to the house and children. I felt useless and impotent as I baked cookies and watched the bugs swarm around him, but I couldn't help but think he was in flat out, bloody battle with his own demons and insecurities. I decided he was better off without me there micromanaging and giggling at him. It took a little longer, but he was able to come to his own conclusions and is better for it in the end.

Then he realized I was out there taking his picture and danced and posed appropriately.

Our efforts to get a garden in on time this year have been slowed by the wet weather, lack of truck or trailer, the kids, and the bugs. It is another wet and rainy Saturday so we haven't been able to till in the compost and manure with the tiller; we'll have to do it by hand. The post holes need to be dug, the posts need to be cut and placed. The fence needs to be attached and then we will finally be able to plant.

We feel like we are running in water; expending great amounts of energy, without much progress. But I am reminded of the quote "Nothing in nature rushes, yet everything is accomplished".

Slowly, we are making this land and home our own.

We intend to be here forever, so we've got time.

Keep walking, though there’s no place to get to.

Don’t try to see through the distances.

That’s not for human beings.

Move within, but don’t move the way fear makes you move.

Rumi

go gently + be wonderful

we're in.

2011-06-02T09:44:00.000-04:00

Things still feel foggy as I try to find our rhythm once again, but we love the new home and land. We feel like tourists and one of my favourite things is exploring all the local, true General Stores of the north with seasoned wood floors that groan under even the slightest weight. You know, the ones who carry everything from your everyday plumbing needs and bait to stylish country clothing and home decor. Awesome.

Things feel a tad hectic and overwhelming as we try to get everything done at once. The garden is staked out and we were able to get a few cucumber, pepper, herbs and heirloom tomato plants from the Kinmount Farmer's Market. We have to turn the soil, add the organic compost from Ellenberger Organic Farm, rent a rototiller, fence it in and plant it this weekend. Then I would like to paint the upstairs bedrooms. Then we have the Doors Open next weekend. After that, we build a chicken coop and find some ladies to fill it.

We were fortunate enough to stumble upon Jan, a previous owner of our new home, as she sells baked goods at the farmer's market. I liked her instantly and hope to get together with her to talk history, ghosts and other good stuff over coffee or tea. She eased some of our 'too-good-to-be-true' type fears. My first question was if it was haunted to which she replied "it is a happy haunted, not a bad haunted". Good enough. As long as they're friendly. The night before we met her we heard what sounded like someone whispering to Silas over the baby monitor. In the first couple of days the monitor shut itself off and then on again and the tv shut off randomly a couple of times. It hadn't happened before and hasn't happened since. Perhaps they were just saying hello.

On our first full day here we braved the black flies to lay some dandelions on the Mr. Williams' grave. Mr Williams was the original owner buried on the property in 1892. Jan also told us there are many unmarked graves around the property as well.

Everything is more intense in the country. Dark nights seem darker. Strange noises seem stranger. Thunder cracks seem louder and closer. The quiet is deep.

Our bedroom window frames the highest branches of a tall pine and the other morning I laid with a sleeping bird +gnome and watched a yellow finch sing to the sun. He sang as though its very rising depended upon his song.

Last night I laid in the quiet. It was so quiet that my first instinct was to panic and feel homesick for the noises of town living; the car doors shutting, the voices of people walking by on the sidewalk, the comfort of the streetlights, headlights and break lights. Instead of distracting myself or turning the fan on to drown it out, I moved past the panic and stayed with it. It was crisp, cool, deafening and pure and I felt calm for the first time in a long time.

Blogging has been difficult for me as I struggle to find the time to both think and type whole thoughts, but I am constantly writing wee snapshots in my head. I have a book in me somewhere and a few weeks ago I awoke with the words to start. I remember a friend telling me she had taken a writing workshop in which the teacher told them "everyone's story is worth telling". I will try again to be a reliable and comprehensive blogger and to re-devote some time and energy back into recording our days and experiences here once the dust settles, but I admit I am struggling to find structure and routine. I can't seem to find my center or my breath. I am sure I will find it in one of these boxes someday soon. Likely the last one I unpack.

If you would like to see more pics you can do so here.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

See you on the other side...

2011-05-17T08:14:00.001-04:00

Hello all.
I have been the world's worst blogger of late.

We sold our house! We bought and move into our cabin in the woods this Friday. It has been a long and mentally exhausting journey since we listed our house on January 13th. Life has been in a sort of limbo state in the first half of 2011 and I am looking forward to the dust settling.

We have lots to do before any dust settles though. Rip up ugly old carpet, cover the electrical work in the 103 year old part of the home, paint floors, walls and cupboards, build a vegetable garden, build a chicken coop and get some chickens, put up a clothesline, patch the fence, convert a cupboard into a rabbit hutch, unpack, and organize all in time for the Doors Open Ontario event in which the house will be on June 11th and 12th all while caring for and entertaining two spirited little ones. Lofty goals I tell you, but all of our best goals have been nothing if not lofty.

After that I am looking forward to berry picking, blossom sniffing, woodland exploration, gardening, chicken and rabbit tending, baking, campfiring, preserving, bubble blowing, laundry hanging, kitchen and moon dancing, tea sipping, flower picking, sunning, and getting well acquainted with the good country life with three of my very favourite people.

Until then...

go gently + be wonderful

e.

good things

2011-04-27T09:56:00.002-04:00

Playing with lens flare is my new favourite thing.

And so I ran

2011-04-05T11:01:00.000-04:00

::source::
I chose this image because I want to run with the same wonder and joy as a child would.
I want to channel the inner running child.

It was an anxious day riddled with a headache that wouldn't quit. On more than one occasion I thought that a horrible headache would be a perfectly acceptable excuse to break my promise to myself. Surely no one would judge me for that. But I just couldn't do it again; I am so done with breaking promises to myself. I dressed in my jogging clothes 4 hours before Mike's arrival home at which point I would, without hesitation, leash Soma and slip out the door before I could think of another reason not to.

I played my spring anthem and walked at a swift pace until I reached the trail that runs along the water. I took a deep breath, and promised to not be too hard on myself deciding that I wouldn't likely make it to green bridge {a place I was hard-pressed to reach in previous running attempts}. And then I ran.

Slow and steady. I lost my breath and then found it again. I remembered the waves and I rode them steadily.

I ran like I always do in my dreams and sailed past the green bridge. I finally slowed to a walk at the iron trestle more because Soma and I became a little tangled and I talked myself into it. At that point I realized that it is the self talk that makes or breaks a runner. {Well, this runner anyway}

I continued to surprise myself and delighted in watching the ducks and red winged black birds. I marveled at how the sunlight seemed to shatter and scatter across the water's surface. I had to stop once and take out my ear phones to answer the moving lips and expectant stare of a stranger. Perhaps I am too friendly?

The high from that single run lasted well into the night and I took secret pleasure in my aching muscles which seemed especially bruised around my c-section scars. I felt like I was finally healing myself and taking back my body. I am constantly amazed by the resiliency of a woman's body, by what can take us down, and by what can make us finally heal. I was reminded of an interview with a ballerina I had heard on CBC Radio years ago. She was asked how she found dancing after her return from maternity leave and her answer surprised me as I was in the heavy dull days of my first pregnancy. She said her body was stronger and her endurance was even greater. I didn't believe her then, but I do now. I have always strived to be fit {sometimes with success and sometimes without} but I have never been an athlete and by no stretch of the imagination was I ever a runner.

I looked forward to my Sunday morning run and talked myself over the waves and panicky moments in which I lost my breath and pace by reminding my body that if I could make two human beings and keep them alive with no sleepand breast milk alone, surely to God I could do this. And so I did it.

And I will do it again tonight.

go gently + be wonderful

Guest Blogger Melissa Bothwell-Inglis of Needle + Nest Design

2011-04-04T09:48:00.002-04:00

I have said it before and I will say it again, I have so many new and wonderfully talented people scattered throughout my life and today I thought I would share just one with you.

Mel of Needle and Nest is a relativley new friend, but a kindred soul no doubt what with our mutual love of gnomes and birds. I was blessed to do the Makers of Things Christmas Craft Buffet with her and have a few of her lovely creations hanging on our walls as a result All of her creations have a most perfect touch of whimsy and sweetness. Be sure to check out her breathtaking paintings as well.

Local folks can find her work at the upcoming springkle craft show and at Glow Maternity in Peterborough.

If you are interested in finding out more or purchasing her handmade goodness you can contact her by blog.

*****

All my life I have loved art, creating, and interior design. As a child I loved building forts with bedsheets, as a teenager it was a moroccan hippy lounge with hanging scarves, as a mom it's the joy of creating a happy space for my daughter. When we moved into our new home last summer I was eager to have a fresh palette to work with. I first fell in love with the window nooks found upstairs [having always adored the idea of cuddling up in a cozy corner with a book, cup of tea, my two cats, daughter, books, stuffed animals..etc]!

I found a fresh apple green paint to go in our daughter Azriel's room. The accent colours are turquoise and melon pinks/oranges. Every corner of her bedroom is filled with little creations I have lovingly sewed, painted, and crafted for her over these past one and a half years of her life. She is definitely my 'main muse' for creating lately it seems!

Cat/Ladder: My daughter loves her cats, and I couldn't resist sewing this fun feline. We grabbed an old ladder from a yard sale and painted it to go in her corner to hold blankets.

Window Nook: Took an ugly old wooden bench, painted it sage green and upholstered it with stripey fabric. Made most of the pillows on the bench. Sewed the foxy lil' couple, Mr.Fox and Foxy Lady who seem to love their view!

Fabric banner: A simple project for anyone who loves fabric... cut into triangles and sew a playful banner for your kids room.

Curtain/Headboard: I wanted light/bright curtains for her room, so I bought some fun fabric and attempted to sew a straight line for once in my life! The headboard I had built years ago with my Dad. I still love it to this day.

Mobile: The first of many bird mobiles I have since made. My husband and I found a great root from our favorite park, hollowed it out and attached the fabric birds. You can find similar ones that I have made at GLOW.

Paintings: I wanted a playful approach to these paintings. We have always loved 'woodland' themes - even our wedding was that, so I had fun making these for her room.

it's time.

2011-04-01T14:15:00.000-04:00

{source::pinterest}

And so it is time.

Time to stand up.

Open the door.

Inflate my lungs.

Tear some muscles.

Sweat out the toxins.

Reverse the atrophy.

Put myself first for an hour.

Be alone with my breath.

Take it back.

It's time to be better.

go gently + be wonderful

itchy fingers...and toes

2011-03-30T10:43:00.000-04:00

These sunny days are making me itchy for all things creative + beauty-filled.

go gently + be wonderful

now is the time...

2011-03-22T11:50:00.001-04:00

This winter has been long and lonely

It has left me listless

A bit numb

A tad empty

In the past {almost} three years I have been either pregnant or nursing without reprieve.

Except for that one afternoon Mike and I left Poppy with "Dam" and" Baba" so we could go to our favourite Indian restaurant we have had zero breaks.

I love being a mama.

Why do I feel the constant need to defend that fact?

I would give my last breath to my children. They have taken love to another level.

They take me to the edge and break me down yet they are still what make me gather my bones to center and rise again.

I love being a mama. I do.

But in my love and whole-hearted parenting, I have managed to isolate myself completely and deny the girl inside me. The girl who loves to dance and twirl her hips to bad dance music and wear pretty scarves and big earrings.

My sanity is hanging by a thread.

The last couple of weeks have been bad.

Teething, a wicked cold, and sleepless nights have moved through our house like a wicked wave.

By the end of the day I am covered in dried snot and tripping over the bags under my eyes.

I am a zombie and yet I don't want to escape my children and responsibilities, but yearn to find a community to share the burdens and joys of being a woman, wife and mama.

I have been thinking a lot about the kind, strong, and inspiring people scattered throughout my life {both online and in the real world}and have been wanting to form a sort of circle by connecting them all together somehow. I am having a hard time defining this so bear with me.

For the Local Folks:

Many of the women I am thinking of have small children, are, like us, planning on homeschooling and are in need of a non-judgmental playgroup for the children to get more socialization and group playtime. We could meet at different kid friendly locations or homes for this. This, of course wouldn't be limited to just homeschoolers, or just parents for that matter, but for anyone looking for a playgroup where the parents have a little more in common than just being a parent.

I also thought it would be great to do a workshop or structured activity together on a regular basis {perhaps one of Rae's many offerings}. Other ideas include, but are not limited to drumming circles, mass preserving and baking bees, building bees, bonfires, potlucks, yoga, belly dancing, field trips, the list could go on

For the Online Folks:

Many of us are bloggers.

I am at a bit of a loss as to how we would form a blog circle, but I am thinking it may be interesting to have a communal blog to which the group could post ideas, issues, thoughts and projects they are working on.

Ideas include, but are not limited to online workshops, tutorials, diptych pairings, photo/craft swaps, bartering systems etc.

I guess what I am saying is that I am trying to create a community of mamas, papas, men, women and children. Artists, craftspeople, musicians, teachers and runners. A group of 'salt of the earth' people to rally around those in need. A group to celebrate with, find comfort in, listen to and learn from.

It feels a bit awkward to "start" a community as it is something I always felt should and would happen organically, but in a way it has in the form of a rather disorganized smattering of wonderful people sprouting up and into our lives for years now.

If you are interested in being a part of this or have ideas for structuring etc, please leave a comment or write to me at applesforpoppyanne@hotmail.com with "now is the time" in the subject line.

go gently + be wonderful

well i'll be darned...

2011-03-15T17:18:00.002-04:00

Would you look at that! I completed my first seamless hand knit garment. I began in the month leading up to Christmas and became confused (what with also teaching myself to quilt simulaneously) and had to rip {my heart} out. I was thoroughly annoyed, dropped it like it was hot, and ignored the wadded up ball of yarn for months {that'll teach 'em}.

Then, in the grey days of February my fingers became itchy and I tried again and suddenly everything became clear and I wondered how I ever struggled. Just last week I finished it with not even a single mistake! I did however make it the length as directed, but find it looks a little squat when not being worn though it looks fine on. Also I wasn't willing to put all my hard work in jeopardy by attempting the various cable knitting included in the pattern.

Next, I will make a yellow one a little smaller and perhaps a little longer.

I used the Milo vest pattern found here.

We have put an offer in on "our" cabin. I thought doing this would add unecessary stress on us about selling this house, but it has given me an easy peaceful feeling. I know now that we have done everything in our power to be where we want to be and the rest is up to the Universe.

Lots of things need to fall into place; the biggest thing being selling this house for the price we need. We could be bumped for a better offer. They could refuse our offer. We could go months without selling this place. We have had a good amount of interest, a few 'almost offers', and lots of good feedback, but we are still waiting.

It is tough being in limbo like this especially as spring fever creeps in and I yearn to fluff my nest. The Law of Attraction tells us to live as though we already have what we want. It's tough when you want chickens, woods to roam through, and privacy and can't logically have any of that without moving. That being said, I have decided to shift my thinking and do what I can in the now while putting my trust in the hands of the all-knowing Universe.

"Now is the time to live your ideal life."

go gently + be wonderful

It started with a song...

2011-03-04T14:29:00.000-05:00

::source::

“To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common. this is my symphony."

~w.e. channing

It all started with a song.

Then I saw the above picture.

Then I started catching up on this blog.

Then I read this article.

I have decided I need a makeover.
On so many levels.
I realized that I have never quite felt comfortable in my own skin. I remember feeling like a boob while my friend and I had clients not show up when we were in dental hygiene school (yeah). We were sent out into the halls in our over sized lab coats, ugly white shoes and unflattering scrubs to troll for people wanting their teeth cleaned. We both wanted to die as we entered a foyer filled with students. My friend stopped to chat with a girl he knew and she ended up giving us a piece of advice that I have carried with me ever since. A most unexpected sage. She told us in a rather valley girl voice that we needed to 'pop our collars and own it'. Not what you expected right? Not exactly poetry, but I have found myself saying this under my breath whenever I feel uncomfortable in my own skin or a little inadequate. Something about it makes me shake off the demons and stand tall.

When you aren't comfortable in your own skin, you give a lot of power up even when no one asks for you to do so. You over-compensate and apologize too much. You're afraid to reach out for fear that you may not live up to every one's expectations. You feel unoriginal and unworthy. You need constant external validation.

I want things that a lot of people don't want and place value where others may not. I am only thirty, but am channeling my "inner gramma" with each passing day. Oh to sit beneath a tree with my loves listening to crickets sing. I have always been an animal person. I would sit for hours in the hay loft with the latest litter of kittens or puppies. I dream of waking up knowing the outdoor animals are calling us out despite the wind or heat. To spend the day in the hot sun weeding and tending and to become once again entwined with the natural rhythms of the earth and her creatures. I come from a long line of farmers and though I don't have plans to be a full tilt farmer, my heart aches to have a house, some land, and some animals to tend to with my husband and children. I have such a strong desire to keep the traditional arts of spinning and sewing and being self-sustained. To rest tired bones after an honest day's work with dirt stained hands and sun kissed shoulders.

I think this makeover will include some skirts and vintage dresses
and wearing pretty aprons for the sheer frivolity of it
and growing my hair long for the wind to braid and weave

Yeah, but I'm working on popping my collar and owning it.

I am working on being unapologetically me.
And everyone who thinks we are crazy for wanting what we want can come drink tea under the stars with us and watch the chickens and rabbits dance in the lush green grass.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

spring anthem

2011-03-02T09:40:00.002-05:00

Every year, in the twilight of winter a song finds me.

A song that

strikes a chord

moves me gently from the rut I have worn myself into over the long, hollow months of winter.

A song that makes my legs ache to run; my hips to dance.

lay it all out on the line.

streamline

grow my hair long

speed up

slow down
shake out the cobwebs

trust

make some skirts

play

drop the armour

grab hold

let go

pare down

see it all as a daring adventure

and nothing short of a miracle

"...Leave all my loving, my loving behind..."

Yeah.

Music is a powerful thing when it is right and good.

"Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your loving behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive"

Previous years of spring anthems include:

A few years ago it was Yael Naim

After that it was City and Colour

Last year it was Yeasayer

cabin fever...quite literally

2011-02-28T08:28:00.000-05:00

We have been dreaming of our house in the country for some time now and it would seem that having your house for sale makes time go markedly slower. Our real estate agent described the process perfectly in a word: unnerving. The constant cleaning and waiting mixed with the February blahs is making us edgy to say the least.

We popped into view the house we have been fantasizing about for weeks now and were not disappointed by its character, history, and charm. Not to mention its surprising functionality as a family home!

Some of our favourite things include the 3.5 acres and free use of the surrounding 75 wooded acres with 20 acre pond, the 134 year old log cabin section with redone floors and foundation, the berries and fruit trees planted on the property. I also love that there is a site on the property upon which there were First Nations healing ceremonies preformed, three tame wolves were buried by a previous owner with a bison skull to protect them, and a trail called "Poppy's Trail" on the adjoining acreage.

apron strings

I haven't done this since little school!

::Poppy's birthday treasures::
Sea Pottery from Rome, a chunk of amethyst + the Geode Dada couldn't crack open despite his best efforts.

Her eyes lit up at the amethyst and sun-catcher
We made her birthday necklace together

I found a handmade wooden barn at the local thrift store for $8.00 which inspired the gift of all these detailed and realistic farm animals which she ADORES.

::My favourite thrifted Pyrex bowl + wooden spoon::

Sending positive energy out into the Universe.

go gently + be wonderful

thrifty joy

2011-02-14T15:37:00.000-05:00

:: large vintage quilt $2.00::

:: wooden bowls $1.49 each ::

I am a simple woman with simple pleasures.

I am also an inefficient sewer and an even less productive knitter so it thrills me when I find brand new or lightly used handmade items for a song at our local thrift shops.

No one seems to value these crafts anymore.

I have been searching for wooden bowls and utensils online for months now, but just couldn't justify the price tag (not that the items aren't worth it). I was quite pleased to find these beautiful, made in Canada, wooden bowls for $1.49 each. A perfect, toddler proof plastic alternative!

Oh, and this quilt.

I have been wanting a wonderfully worn patchwork quilt for years now. One made out of practicality rather than beauty. I couldn't believe my luck when I stumbled upon this $2.00 beauty at the Salvation Army this morning.

It's the small triumphs that make this girl happy.

go gently + be wonderful

my bearded valentine

2011-02-14T07:57:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, between the bathing and reading and playing and soothing we forget to make eye contact.

We move like a well oiled machine most days.

Like the wheels on a train.

we're connected;

in unison;

with the same destination;

yet parallel.

But sometimes, like when we're dancing in the kitchen or sharing a joke, you catch my eye and

my heart skips a beat.

You still make me weak in the knees.

Today I am remembering the crazy cute couple behind the crazy cute kids

and the small empire my bearded Valentine and I have built with

good

old fashioned

love.

Just as is engraved on the wedding bands we never wear:

:: the spirit in me honours the spirit in you ::

what i hope to remember...

2011-02-11T11:30:00.004-05:00

Arr Captain

be still my heart.

looks like someone is telling a tall-tale

Poppy reading aloud to us while I tidy for another showing

a snack in the sun

I do believe that a bad case of cabin fever has hit the house of the bird + gnome.

The days are long and we are running out of indoor activities to occupy our time.

Our feet long to play in the warm green grass

plant treasures in the garden

feel the friendly sun on our shoulders

let the wind braid our hair.

But I don't want to wish our time away so today I will record some of the little things that may be forgotten by the time the windows snap open and spring hops over the windowsill to shake us awake...

Poppy

She was slow to speak our language though fluent in her own, but in the last 2 or 3 months has been braver with her words and has made old words fun again. Here are some of our favourites:

joots = juice

chico = silas

bitch = fish

belk = milk

chin-choo = thank you

gogo = yogurt

not to be confused with:

goga = yoga

mamatay = namaste

unch = lunch or bread

gock = clock

eeyoeeyoeeyo = eeyore

rat = rabbit

It would appear that she just realized she is, in fact, this Poppy person everyone keeps talking about. She points to herself with raised eyebrows and exclaims "Poppy!"

She builds her blocks up to her chin and then wants Silas to knock them over.

She loves asking us to draw apples, honey, pooh, dada, mama, baby, apple, owl, banana, and kitty on her chalkboard or paper over and over again.

She has known the colours of the rainbow {and then some} for months now, but likes to say them now and happily names the colours around the house and on our clothes.

Many times per day she will run into the kitchen and point at the ipod exclaiming "ay" "ay" meaning she wants to dance. And when she wants to dance it has to be Lady Gaga and it has to be loud {her favourite being telephone}.

She loves to watch Wheel of Fortune and yells out the letters with us and the contestants. She repeats the alphabet and numbers 1 to 10, but her favourite letter appears to be "J".

She loves to put a blanket over her head and wander around saying "where Poppy?"

She says "bye owl" when I close my baking cupboard where a ceramic owl holding the oats lives.

She knows her animals quite well but refuses to believe her rocking horse is anything other than a dow {cow} who says moo.

Silas

Silas is our happy sensitive boy who has been known to cry at sudden sneezes and funny sounds, but is getting more accustomed to the noises of this strange world. I can't decide if he is an old soul or a new one, but he is a gentle little man either way. He bats his eyelashes and has a grin that melts hearts though he rarely smiles for the camera.

He is sitting up quite well now and topples over a little less everyday.

He has been waking 5 to 8 times every night since he was born 5 1/2 months ago and seems to wake more now than when he was brand new. We introduced foods and he is willing, but not eager, to go for it like Poppy who took the spoon right out of my hand on her first try.

He adores everyone in his little family, and is quite taken with his firecracker sister who smooshes and squats him and gives lots of hugs and kisses {when not rifling a book or other hard object at his head. Oy.}

The days are long, but thank God for that.

her first family portrait {minus herself} which I labelled with her direction

go gently + be wonderful

a room of my own

2011-02-10T11:24:00.000-05:00

::photo source::

All this crafty sewing joy has made my mind wander and dream about a craft room of my very own. A functional pretty place with a door.

My current set up is lame. I was inspired to make our back room off the kitchen into a functional work space after seeing a picture of Soule Mama's bright turquoise walls. I loved the colour so much I went out and matched it to the photo in the magazine. It didn't quite translate as well in my little room.

That was about two years ago and it remains uninspired and lacking that come hither vibe. The floor is cold and the light is never right. As it stands, whenever I want to make something I find myself digging out supplies from random drawers and cupboards around the house and carting the sewing machine et al to the kitchen table. I quickly spread out {as is necessary for proper creative juices to flow} and either have to finish my project before we make and eat a meal, order takeout, or put it all back in its nooks and crannies from which it came. So, you see, I am often thoroughly frustrated by the time I have everything gathered and am always missing my seam ripper and left wondering where I may have stashed that pattern or pretty vintage piece of fabric I was hoping to use.

I may have mentioned before that our house is for sale and though I am inspired today to take one last stab at making that space calm, warm and functional it seems like it may be a waste of time. I suppose it could help with the appeal to sell the house, but it does sound like a large amount of work when we are hoping to move sooner rather than later. I would also rather put time and money into our next house than this one...unless it makes this house sell faster. On the other hand I have an unused can of the same verdigris blue I used on the living room walls. I have always wanted to paint the nasty plywood floor in the adjoining laundry room white and the walls a soft blue so it didn't feel like punishment going in there.

Oh my. Now I am dreaming about laundry rooms.

::photo source::

Here are a few photos I just snapped of the craft room and laundry area. In case you're wondering we don't leave mountains of dirty clothes on the floor {for the last showing I crammed it all into the dryer and washing machine}, and I hung white curtains to divide the two rooms.

Poppy admiring her handy work.
This is the view from the kitchen into the craft room.

::Behind curtain number one::
Eep.

::Behind curtain number two::

What would you do?

P.S. We just got a call with feedback from our very first showing yesterday and it was all good news with the exception that they are hoping to have a basement {no amount of paint will change that there is no basement}. So that is a great start!

little boys + bow ties

2011-02-07T11:18:00.000-05:00

More adventures in simple sewing brought me to this retro bow tie pattern for little boys. It was the simplest thing to cut, sew and put together, but I found you do have to hold your mouth just right when tying it up. But after a few choice words and about 13 attempts I did finally get it just right.

Now anyone who knows me, knows I am a firm believer in the bow tie revolution (as well as the tutu revolution, but that is another story for another day). In order to do my part in supporting said revolution I will happily be selling these sweet things in my etsy shop in two sizes.

gretta grundle

2011-02-03T09:38:00.001-05:00

I would like you to meet Gretta Grundle. Over the recent holidays I became a little braver in my sewing adventures after a fairly successful venture into some simple quilts for the bird + gnome this Christmas (more on that project later) . As I mentioned before, I would like to re-open my little Etsy shop someday soon and am hoping to carry some more unique handmade items. I found the pattern in this shop. Other items I am looking at are fabric shoes and slippers, the prayer pillow, and some other items still in the design process.

As soon as Poppy saw the finished Grundle she exclaimed "rat!" (which is rabbit in Poppy speak) and ran off with her happily. Silas is quite taken with her floppy arms, legs and ears which are perfect for chubby baby hands to grasp and pull and all the better for chewing.

It would appear that something has indeed broken open inside of me. The fog is lifting and I feel a creative fire warming me from the inside out. I am still a newbie sewer and am often painstakingly slow as I work through a pattern and learn the inner workings of my new sewing machine, but I press forward.

I suddenly feel as though I have so much to say and share with you again. Recipes, photos, projects, choices and thoughts. The transition to two has been tough, but I feel my feet planted firmly beneath me again. Now to find my stride. There will always be transitions to navigate as a wife and mama, but at the end of every day I feel as though I have learned something more about the gentle warrior within.

A woman's power lies in her gentleness.

We are all warriors in our own right.

So that is Gretta Grundle and the lesson I learned in the process of making her.

go gently + be wonderful

a marshmallow day

2011-02-02T16:52:00.001-05:00

The house groans and yawns under the weight of thick snow and I am happy to have my little family together safe under one roof. I dream of warm spring days and wonder if we will be in our dream house by then, but for now I am content and happy in this little house in which we began our journey into a family. The home that has held us safe and warm for four and a half years. She is friendly and familiar though flawed.

Yes, I wander into thereness but surrender to today's hereness. Today the snow is glorious and winter is welcome to stay for just a little while longer.

pancakes
sewing (just a glimpse today, but full details tomorrow)
peanut butter chocolate chip cookies
letters of of gratitude
toys in the water dish
mismatched socks
a sleeping gnome
bouncy bird
yummy fabric
lentil soup
plaid jammie pants
the waltons

a good day in the house of the bird and gnome indeed.

go gently + be wonderful

e.

she carried them in her basket...

2011-02-01T16:21:00.000-05:00

Many years ago I was in a little store with my aunt when I came upon a little yellow tin that once held Erinmore Tobacco flakes. It was a little bit rusty, a little bit scratched and perfect in every way. As I tried to figure out a use for my found treasure, my aunt exclaimed that it should be my "God Box" and then happily explained its purpose to me. It was simple; write your prayers on a piece of paper, fold it with love, place it in your pillowcase and let go + let god.

I am not what you would call a religious person, but I do believe in the power of prayer and this little tin has remained a meaningful part of my life. It comes and goes and I will go months without knowing its whereabouts until I find it nestled between the wall and mattress, dust-covered, but still holding my last note of importance. Over the years, I have filled it with feathers and perfume oil; prayers and fears; letters and wishes and I have never been able to deny the sense of peace that washes over me once I surrender my folded notes to its rusted interior.

Now the only issue with having a tin in one's pillowcase is, well, having a tin in one's pillowcase. So I came up with a softer solution which may just be to pretty to be stuffed into a pillowcase and may even earn a place of honour on a nightstand or dresser.

Lavender filled prayer pillows will be available in my soon to be re-opened etsy shop because everyone should have one of these pretties.

go gently + be wonderful